Our visit to "the Island"

Thank you Grandpa and Grandma Schei for our wonderful visit to your house...

We loved eating breakfast on the deck and discussing politics such as whether or not Spiderman and Batman will ever unite forces and if Barbie should be a "girls only" toy...


We loved being silly and laughing together...


We loved helping you plant the oh-so-important bushes...

And Benjamin loved his very first swim...


And in fact, he was exhausted and lounged in the sun while he caught some shut eye...

Thank you for all of the fun we had... we love you both sooooo much...

4th of July 2008 - Schei and O'Shea

We spent the day celebrating our independence with the O'Sheas at their house in Snohomish. The men and children waded down the river 50 yds to "Rock Island" located in the middle of the Pilchuck River. Kyle and Andy spent a good hour building a rock wall in hopes of creating the perfect swimming hole for the kids amidst the gentle rapids. Michelle and I sat on their patio discussing our life, the liberty that some peoples' children take to just speak their mind regardless of how young and inexperienced they are, and the pursuit of happiness - in other words, getting through the next 7 months until Benjamin walks and can be somewhat independent of me or in Michelle's case, telling off those few 9 year olds who have lost all social tact, consequently causing hurt feelings in hopes of boosting their own ego... yes, I encouraged this immature behavior in Michelle. When you spend most of the day embracing the lives of your children and all they encounter, sometimes you find yourself punching a 5 year old in the face in order to release the aggression you've had pent up since that one girl in middle school kissed your boyfriend behind the portables.

You never completely heal from those things.

After emerging from the river one by one, the children sunk into the hot tub. The big kids worked on large feats such as holding their breath under water while William stood on the sidelines shooting every head that popped up with his first ever water gun. It was so fun to watch.






















For dinner we barbecued steaks, hot dogs and hamburgers. Devoured a large bowl of freshly picked strawberries and helped ourselves to one, if not two, helpings of dessert. The kids entertained themselves for a couple more hours while the adults sat and enjoyed each others' company outside. Ben, of course, either standing atop someone's legs doing his best impression of a bobblehead or attached to my breast.

I really can't wait until he walks.

The game plan for the evening was to stay put until dusk arrived, caravan up to Marysville and witness the Everett fireworks display. A client of Andy's invited us to take up residence for the evening in their vacant million-dollar home overlooking the bay. Once we arrived, the men and children, once again, took off for the water while Michelle and I sat and chatted. It was at that moment that I turned around with a look of confusion as I heard the faint sounds of patriotic music spilling from the kitchen window out onto the patio. I looked at Michelle and asked, "did you bring your own music?" She had. So there we were. Like a couple of old ladies sitting side by side and embracing the joys and pains of our country's history in silence. But then I couldn't stop laughing and shaking my head at the two of us. I'd regain my composure, pay respect to the moment and then fall into laughter again. I believe I cried I was grinning so hard. It was an awesome moment. While the music played we pulled our blankets up to our chins and prepared ourselves for the return of the men and children up from the water. The evening had only begun.


It was from there that we watched thousands of fireworks throughout the evening. Kids were up until after 11pm - something we've never done before. Seriously. But there was so much joy to be had as we sat sprawled out on the lawn looking up at the sky and laughing with our friends.
Its gonna be hard to top this year's 4th, that's for sure.

Adverse effects

I can try with all my might to look as though I don't have extra skin hanging around my mid-section. I CAN fit into my old jeans but that's not to say I would ever in my life again wear my old jeans and a bikini top - which at one time in my life I know I thought was a sexy outfit. Nope. In fact, if you were to see me in my jeans without a top on your eyes would be drawn to the raisin-esque skin that now has taken up residence in the most precarious spots. No matter how much effort I put into fitting that loose skin neatly into the top of my jeans so as to look flat, I can't seem to make it magically disappear.

This is not unlike the physics law that says something to the tune of not being able to create mass out of nothing nor is one able to make mass become "non-existent" - whatever that law is. Same as when you try to eat an overstuffed sandwich neatly or try to bite into the Skinny Cow without spilling ice cream out the backside. A Smore is another GREAT example. When trying our darndest to control something that is uncontrollable in nature our efforts are in vain.

Which brings me to my point.

July 1st was a day of great distress as I realized I couldn't hold my phone anymore while driving. I know, I know. Some of you are saying its a "secondary offense"! But what CAN'T an officer pull you over for in order to say, "oh, and by the way Mam, you had your cell phone up to your ear and that's illegal too"... So, just yesterday my husband taught me how to use my first ever blue tooth headset.

Oh man. Like I said, our efforts are in vain when we try to control the uncontrollable. Doesn't anyone out there helping to create these laws know that if a Mom has her hand occupied by holding a phone up to her ear at least she's limited in what she can do while talking on the phone. The stuff that I pulled off yesterday WHILE talking to my brother on the phone would have boiled any safety expert's blood. They would have been baffled in fact. What they tried to control was my the attention that I divert from the road when I'm holding my phone up to my ear. What they didn't realize is that I can now drive with my left hand, hold a pacifier in my son's mouth, look in the rear view mirror at the comical faces of my 2 and 3 year old in the backseat WHILST talking on the phone. All the while feeling a bit out of sorts because it takes extra effort for me to figure out how to HANG UP... CALL... etc.

The skin cascades over the top of my snug-fitting Lucky jeans every time I sit down, the mustard and mayo combo squeezes out the backside of my sandwich despite careful manipulation, the ice cream inevitably drips on my recently mopped floor and my ability to multi-task while driving has grown exponentially.

Thank you to those who are always trying to save me from my own self. Better said, my own stupidity.

Good luck to you.

Creating Moments

Its rather plastic to think about "creating moments" because 'moments' should just happen. But I've found as a Mom that the more you try to create them the more extraordinary moments you have. Making the effort to bring together the unlikely scenario in hopes of experiencing something extraordinary rarely fails to deliver.

Today, in spite of the thunder, lightning and unpredictable rainfall I took the kids to feed the ducks down at Silver Lake. I sported the Moby Wrap with Benjamin fit snugly inside while Katie and William wore their rain-gear and crocks. We had stopped at Central Market to purchase some hot dog buns and made our way down to the water.

We were alone. Surprise.

I believe even the ducks made us feel stupid. Their hesitant approach suggested that nobody would be there to feed them with a rationale mindset and instead we were there to skin them illegally and take them home for dinner. I took a deep breath and said, "c'mon you stupid poultry just create some memories and give me the benefit of the doubt for god's sakes." They did! I've never seen the kids so close to the ducks before! We unloaded 8 hot dog buns in less than 5 minutes and the kids didn't want to leave.

Don't give me too much credit (and maybe you're not), realize that on the way from Central Market to the park I considered going straight home and apologizing to the kids that the weather made it "impossible" for us to feed the ducks. But I knew that was BS. I knew that in the Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter there could exist any number of reasons NOT to do something and instead I wanted to find a reason TO do something. We would survive... and the kids would enjoy it. And oh wow, I enjoyed it too! Shocking.

Of course I enjoyed it! The fresh air. The rain. My kids. The silence away from society because they were all indoors at the moment - rationally so.

We had a wonderful time. And for a moment, I just encourage you to think outside your box and allow yourself to get soaked. You'll love it! So what if it takes you 15 minutes to exit the vehicle considering all the preparation involved! So what if your van gets wet! So what if your kids ride home naked! So what if you have an extra load of laundry!

The kids will sleep better and so will you.

Last night in Seattle

Early this morning I woke to lightning illuminating Kyle and I's bedroom followed by the inevitable boom of thunder. The thunder was awesome. It was the kind of thunder that surprises you because it makes your bones jitter inside your body. The first crack sounds and then it only escalates. Each time there's some unfounded anxiety that it will escalate to a point that it... I don't know! That's what creates the anxiety! Will it... wake the kids? knock you over? make the ground explode? break a window? fall on you? I don't understand it but for some millisecond of time anxiety is created and then it is gone and what's left is exhilaration. At least for me. I love this stuff.

Before going to bed, whilst locking up the house, I witnessed eery flickers of light down the hallway, up the staircase, in the entryway... finally it occurred to me that it was coming from outside. I beckoned Kyle to the front stoop and there I sat curled forward between his legs with his arms wrapped around me and his chin resting on my shoulder. With wonder I waited... anticipating that there'd be another flash coming soon. I wanted to wake the kids and experience it with them in hopes that they would find it as breathtaking as I did. But I wouldn't dare. I felt like I was dating again, unfortunately for Kyle, without the temptation to go upstairs and make out. I was so tired.

One Gene Pool

Catherine Elizabeth Schei (left) at 22 months.

William McCormick (above) at about 24 months with Catherine Elizabeth and Benjamin Berges.


William McCormick (left) at 3 months.

Benjamin Berges (below) at 3 months.


And can you figure out who THIS is (right)? Yes, Catherine Elizabeth at 3 months.

Ponderings as of late

Why is it that I have a resistance towards destinations such as The Great Wolf Lodge and would much rather take my family camping for a weekend?

Why is it that what is most exhausting to me isn't the 5 errands I ran with all 3 kids today but the cumulative 10 minutes I spent over the course of the day waiting for my son to focus and pay attention to what I was asking him to do?

Why is it that when my husband challenges me to do something it is all the more enticing than when he doesn't? And no, don't misunderstand me, this is not an emotional or spiritual challenge but more the likes of two children making bets on who can hold their breath the longest. I'll let you know how I do 29 days from now.

Why is it that salad tastes better when someone else makes it?

Why is it that I walk around my house looking for things to pick up or clean and then get frustrated that there's always something for me to do? I need to stop looking for goodness' sake.

Why is it that I can't stop surfing craigslist even when I don't need anything?

Why is it that William is so much harder to get the attention of than Katie? He is constantly needing discipline and redirection in order to accomplish even the smallest of tasks.

Why is it that the things I'm doing right now are the things my children will one day look back on, critique, and change when deciding how to raise their own children? I would like a heads up! Its amazing what I could learn if I now knew what I will know then.

And by the way, when its this hot and I'm sweating profusely inside my house I always remember Ashley Judd in "A Time to Kill". Just a random thought in hopes that there might be more people like me out there. Oh yeah... and when I hear a certain song from the Fightclub soundtrack I always picture myself driving a Shelby GT as if in a movie.

Enough about me. What are your thoughts?

Willis D. Tucker Meltdown

We arrived just as I was thinking to myself, "maybe I shouldn't do this"... but I spent only moments thinking that way when I was suddenly embraced by the warm sunshine. I had by this time opened the van door and dropped one leg out as the sun and all its warmth spilled in.

It was beautiful. But it was 11:30am and I knew that the kids needed food and they then would need sleep. I was riding on high hopes that the activity of the park would keep them alert and pleasant enough that we just might stay for longer than 45 minutes. We did -- but not alert and not pleasant. I know better than this.

It began with a semi-sleepy William climbing out of the van not sure of which way was up. But he was still awake! There was hope! Katie was beginning to smile less and drift into a starry state where she observes with little desire to interact. As you can see, I was fully aware of the children but still I continued to unlock the stroller, release the kids from their car seats and gather miscellaneous items. Benjamin had already started fussing a little and I was getting all the more nervous.

Rabbit trail:
See, for those Moms out there that have been more than encouraging with regards to my parenting skills and my "ability to cope" it all has to do with timing. I WILL NOT take my kids to the mall, or anywhere for that matter, if its past 12Noon until after they have napped. That's ridiculous. I would be in a constant state of chaos if I didn't run my life by my children's nap schedules. My expectations of them and their behavior are exceptionally high when they're NOT TIRED. The minute we hit the tired state I expect very little of them because it is MY job to get them home and in bed.

Done with the rabbit trail, thank you for listening.

So there we were, making our way into the swarms of Moms, Dads and kids. I told the kids that our first priority was to eat and then they would be allowed to play. They did. And they did it without argument. A simple "ok Mom" is what I expect them to say, and they did! We were doing good so far. A half-sandwich and a couple Oreos later, the kids began exclaiming what they'd like to do. By this time Ben was lathered in sunscreen and staring at his glistening feet as he sat in his infant car seat being pelted by the sunshine... he loved it. Things were definitely looking up.

We met up with some friends... talked a little... hung out under the sun-shade... rode the merry-go-round... and as it approached 12:30pm I noticed signs of melt-down. I rode the wave a little while longer until I was paddling a little too hard to keep up. My expectations of how a day should go with my kids are quite high -- a swift "discipline on the bottom" follows ANY disobedience and a pleasant, polite, and respectful attitude should be had towards all. Understand this behavior doesn't naturally 'ooze' from a child but is completely within the realm of possibility and I believe should be of greater focus for more parents!

I began calling William over and over again before he looked at me and responded... I don't do well when there's a lack of attention to me and my demands. Katie was beginning to get a little emotional with a side of psychotic (dancing around and squeezing Harper's or Benjamin's cheeks
whilst crying about being thirsty). All said I began to gather the chicks quickly. But once the fire starts its amazing how quickly it spreads... Ben began crying, William stopped listening, Katie's feelings got hurt by someone and she couldn't think straight enough to not melt down in a heap, they needed hugs and kisses from EVERYONE before they left, Ben was hungry and wet and tired, the dumb stroller was not efficiently packed with enough room to house all my children so some walked, some were carried and some (William) decided that he had had enough and sat strategically down in the middle of the path back to the parking lot screaming and pouting. Katie, recognizing that I was part way to psychosis, stared at me in bewilderment and fear as I walked away from my screaming son towards the car. I tried to reassure her with a smile that I would NEVER leave him although I had to meditate on that thought in order to remember not to leave him. I was running for cover mentally. Bombs were dropping all around me and all I could see was the bunker in the distance - my '01 Honda Odyssey. Once in the car with kids strapped in I was practically home-free. Wild animals were caged and I could think straight.

THIS is how I'm able to get through a day with three kids. I adjust my clock to theirs' and adjust their clocks to mine. They are up at 6:30am and I adjust to that... but they are in bed no later than 7:30pm and that is necessary 99% of the time and I've adjusted their clocks accordingly. Nap time is at 12:30 or 1:00pm and I adjust my clock... no shopping, no visiting (unless its at my house), no school, etc. because I know my children would not live up to my expectations of behavior if I didn't allow them that downtime at that particular time of the day.

Rabbit trail:
I'm nervous because now I have a third and he's only 12 weeks old but already becoming regular in his nap schedule. Either one nap between 8:30a and 11:30a or two naps during that time... one nap at the same time that Katie and William take theirs' at 1:00pm and than another one before bedtime! How am I supposed to keep up with all the activities that my 2 and 3 year old want to do when I have a child who takes 2-3 naps a day?! Answer: 1) cope with a child who is not able to live up to my expectations of behavior and allow my 2 and 3 year old the activities available to them or 2) accept the fact that I cannot allow your 2 and 3 year old to be involved in activities that impede on the younger one's nap times. Both can be argued for! But I need to keep my expectations realistic. I sure hope I choose the latter because I think there will be far less consequences in the future to deal with and a greater understanding of selflessness in my children. Does that make sense?

Done with the rabbit trail, thank you for listening.

We got in the car. William and Benjamin fell asleep. Katie was almost comatose. William transferred willingly and without a hitch as did Katie. Benjamin was fed and laid down and he is still asleep at 2:45pm. The older kids just woke up and now I am going to go out and lounge on the couch with them to watch The Bee Movie. I've decided I've done enough today and now its time to be lazy and lounge. Dinner will be in a few hours and then we'll get ready for bed... probably all of us.

Have high expectations of your kids at the right times.

We love surprises!

Here is some afternoon humor with a couple of our favorite people....
Enjoy!



Thanks for stopping by.

Jesseca Lauper

She's gonna kill me for this... but its what makes a true friend a true friend... thanks for stopping by, friend. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Thrill Hawk

I met a bit of resistance yesterday when I sent out pictures of William and his 'new do'. Kyle gave him a mo hawk the other night in lieu of shaving it all off and I LOVED it. In addition to running my usual errands during the morning yesterday I also stopped off at Sally's Beauty Supplies in Everett and purchased bright blue "Hair Cement". Boy did I have fun with that...

Anyways, this morning when I awoke (after pleasantly sleeping in until 7:15am - thank you fantastic husband!) I smiled to myself upon seeing William's 'new do/bedhead do'. He smiled like any little 'boy next door' would smile and it was nice to know that my little gentleman was not about to be led astray by some punk rocker hair do. In fact, he proceeded to sit on the living room chair, ducky in arms, and "feed his baby". I quickly grabbed the camera. He then attempted to place his baby on the potty seat and help it push its "pee-pee" down as he spoke gently and reassuringly to it.
Adorable.

An ounce of energy buys you lots.

I decided that I was getting exhausted because the kids "needed" me all the time... "mom 'this'" and "mom 'that'"... I was going nuts. I found myself rolling my eyes at my daughter the other day and I got socked in the gut BY THE LORD. And it was a hard 'sock in the gut'.

You know the saying, "if your husband's praising himself too much its because you don't praise him enough"? Well, same goes for kids. If you don't give them the attention they need they'll demand attention from you just to prove a point - without them realizing it. And before you drive yourself nuts... just remember... IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

You didn't have kids to fulfill your own selfish interests... if so, you're in for real disappointment. NOT because kids don't give you 'joy you've never imagined'! But because kids give you 'joy you've never imagined' in ways that you've never imagined! Its not by giving you the sleep you need or by giving you "alone time" when alone time is much deserved/needed or by being obedient when it would be really great for them to be obedient. No. None of that is sure enough to bet on. So, for better results, expect great moments with your kids. Expect to be exhausted and exhilarated all in a moment.

Today, we made "No Bake Cookies". See recipe below:


No Bake Cookies (allrecipes.com - no bake cookies I)

• 1 3/4 cups white sugar
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 cup butter
• 4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter
• 3 cups quick-cooking oats
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS

1. In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, milk, butter, and cocoa. Bring to a boil, and cook for 1 1/2 minutes. Remove from heat, and stir in peanut butter, oats, and vanilla. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto wax paper. Let cool until hardened.

I needed to find a solution for my "high maintenance children" and I realized that if I took 1 hour and overwhelmed them with attention and praise then they would be satisfied! So much so that they let me blog while they played with their "Colorforms" (that we just received in the mail yesterday! See previous blog about Colorforms.)

So here I am... blogging.

Hey you.

Do you ever realize that you haven't said "hi" to yourself yet and its already 12noon?! Most days I've gotten a peek of myself, if not had a conversation with myself, by 12 noon... but not today. Today I've dealt with the remnants of last night's dinner and sick-child laundry. Today I've walked 41 flights of stairs to the rhythm of my kids' voices. They needed help from pouring milk to pulling down underwear... from wiping hands to turning on a movie... from tracking down favorite pajamas to tracking down the Lincoln Log directions. Today I've swaddled a baby at least 10 times in hopes of him being overcome by the soothing organic fabric sending him into dreamland. Today I've done dishes, wiped counter tops, served 4 meals to 2 children - staggered, folded 3 loads of laundry, nursed 4 times and laid 3 children to rest.

I've said hi to myself once.

The "Grocery Game" dot com...

For those of you that I haven't spoken to within the last 6 hours, I would like to say, "THE GROCERY GAME IS AMAZING!" If you visit the website, www.grocerygame.com, and choose to spend an hour or so reading through the rules of the game than you will be interested, in the least. But if you take the leap and pay $1 for the 4 week trial than you will most definitely be AMAZED. The results, for me, were unbelievable - 113% savings at Albertsons and about a 94% savings at Safeway! Check it out for yourself when you have a moment.

Summary of The Grocery Game strategy: STOP buying on a "need" basis and begin stockpiling. Create your own "store at home" and buy only when the item is at rock-bottom price. Grocery stores tend to run on a 12-week cycle where pork, for example, is on sale for a week than off sale for the next 12 weeks! Buy as much pork as you would need for 12 weeks when the sale is on then you're not forced to buy the pork at a premium! You'll save so much money buying ALL your groceries (including paper goods and hygiene items) this way.

This is what it takes:

1. Keep all grocery store ads during the week - have a specific place you keep them.
2. Retrieve the Sunday edition (I simply purchased the The Herald at the Mill Creek Albertsons for$ 1.50 this last Sunday but am in the process of subscribing to the Sunday paper for $12.47/3 months)
3. Cut ALL "manufacturers" coupons and store coupons that are appropriate for your family. Don't try to calculate savings at that point, "Teri's List" (you'll understand later) will do it all for you! Just go ahead and cut WHATEVER products are valuable to you. Set them aside. The "cutting" process was accomplished while I sat in front of the TV on Sunday morning with Kyle and the kids... super easy and didn't take more than 15 minutes.
4. Go onto grocerygame.com at 12N or later on Sunday (that's when the official "Teri's List" is posted for that week). Check off products that are ones you use in your house.
5. Print the list so that you can take it with you shopping (it gives you all the coupon details which I found to be VERY helpful as I shopped.)
6. Grab the corresponding coupons to the items you checked from the list and go shopping prior to midnight on Tuesday (when all the sales are reset for the next 7 days)!
***Krista Tip: Do NOT take kids the first time shopping with the list. You'll want to understand and get familiar with what you're doing and I guarantee you'll miss out if you aren't completely focused. After that, its easy. Plus, you'll "trust the list" so kids won't be an issue.***

If you're interested, check it out. I got $209.00 worth of groceries for $93.00 at Albertsons... and I got about $102.00 worth of groceries for $53.00 at Safeway! I cannot tell you how nice it is to know that I can shop at grocery stores that I enjoy (and trust the quality of) whilst saving loads of money!

... then I went and filled the gas tank.

The "Berges" name...

For years as a kid my family traveled throughout the Great Northwest for weekend getaways or "mini vacations" and we always seemed to run into someone who knew the Berges family, or "knew of" the Berges family, from Kennewick, Washington. It wasn't rare that we'd be walking down a trail near Mt. Rainier National Park or perhaps visiting a small coffee shop in Sandpoint, Idaho, when you'd hear "Dr. Berges!". My Dad would stop (with a shocked look on his face - which ALWAYS surprised me) in an effort to find the person who obviously recognized him. When he met the person's gaze it was followed by a surprised laugh and "the point". He'd then, miraculously, recall their name, follow it with a firm handshake and that would lead into small talk and family introductions.

THIS is the family I've been a part of my whole life... all 29 years of it. I'm now a "Schei" which seems to carry the same weight all the way from California to Washington. I can't say that there's ever been a time when I think to myself, "oh God forbid! HOW do you know who I am?!" It is more likely to be, "oh thank God! I'm so glad I got out of this mess unscathed because you knew my Dad! What a small world!"

Sick. I know. I'm about to make you vomit.

Whilst traveling the Great Northwest for the first time with my THREE children all by myself I was spared once again by the dear Lord Himself, I'm sure of it. Traveling 82mph in a 70mph zone on I-82 just outside of Benton City (see picture above) I caught a glimpse of the State Patrol car on the upcoming overpass... immediately after I caught sight of him he obviously caught sight of me because he moved from his spot so swiftly I began sweating and shaking. Amongst the long line of cars in the right lane, I knew he was coming after ME. No doubt.

After being pulled over I began to pull out my Driver's License as gracefully as possible. To quickly bring you up to date... while I had been traveling behind the 5-6 cars in the right lane going approximately 72-75mph my son calmly alerts me that he has to go potty... bad. He's holding himself and repeating the information. I slide into the passing lane and its at the moment my foot has successfully pushed the pedal to the metal that I notice the "Stater", as I've heard them called before. Horrible timing. And highly excusable, might I add!

Upon being pulled over and the State Patrol officer reaching into my passenger's side window to retrieve from me my licence, my son yells from the rear of the van, "Mom! I need to go potty!" and I calmly, and as assuredly as possible, tell him that I know and he only needs to wait a quick moment longer... the State Patrol officer looks at my license and then with a quizzical look on his face asks, "Are you a "Berges"?" My eyes travel from my son to the officer almost as if in slow motion... you know, you see my eyes shift slowly from one spot to the next with a dramatically slow blink in between... and I'm staring at him, "yes." A question in the intonation. He informs me... as he chuckles... that he played baseball with my older brother, Geoff, and he's a patient of my Dad's. Brian Bond is the name. I immediately picture his parents' faces in my head as I paid close attention to ANYONE of my brothers' friends and acquaintances during my younger years! We make small talk... all the while my son is calling from the rear of the van that he needs to go potty. I'm almost proud of him - he has, without knowing, been a wonderful asset to me getting out of this predicament with less pain... the officer has commented that William reminds him of his 18 month-old son and has inquired as to the "plan of action" I have for getting this kid to the restroom.

My hope is that I am, once again, unduely spared from paying consequences for my actions. I drove away knowing that I won't always be that lucky... or blessed... (sick). But really? Will I not take FULL advantage of it next time?

Honestly, I can't say I mind this. But I will try to be less... uhhh... how do you put it... a "Berges"?

Creative Children...

I think we've almost lost it... the idea of creative children. Imaginative children. But its not due to the amazing companies out there that provide imagination-provoking toys; its not due to the minority of parents who prioritize imaginative play consequently providing our world with a potent group of children able to infuse our playgrounds with incredibly bright children and thus keeping hopelessness at bay; its not due to the well-deserving teachers who have received awards for making their students think... no, the fact that we haven't lost all hope for creative and imaginative children is because children still exist!

During a birthday party for my sister-in-law, my daughter Katie found herself caught up in an old picture album that Lesley's mom, Lori, utilized to store all of their old Colorforms. This is not the Original Colorforms Set but ancient, none-the-less... meaning that Lesley, at her ripe 26 years of age, remembers playing for hours with this same set when she was little! It made me realize that we have unleashed a beast on our children named Disney (not exclusively) and we have created in them a "let it fall in your lap" type of fun. But in all her childlike-ness Katie found it in her to plop down by the sliding glass door in the family room and create Colorform magic... lines of silhouettes of cars and animals and people. I loved seeing her in her quiet thought putting together pictures and when asking for help also critiqued one's ability to stick them properly and in the right place. What was her story all about?! Why was she so upset when the dots were placed incorrectly by the innocent helper?! I loved it and have since been researching Colorforms on the internet and will be purchasing the Original Colorforms set in the next couple of days at Toys R Us (as it is $14.99 as opposed to $29.99 everywhere else.)

Oh-so-not-awesome anymore...

On Wednesday nights we have a recurring group of couples and kids that meet together and enjoy some wonderful food, easy conversation and intentional prayer - this is known as a Small Group. Our Small Group meets at the oh-so-lovely casa de Kalous where you walk in and immediately feel welcome... you WANT to take your shoes off, mingle around the kitchen island, munch on something wonderful that Rachel (Martha) has cooked up oh-so-easily (aka "thrown together") and enjoy the luxurious feeling of the vaulted ceilings, granite counter tops and beautifully chosen colors across the great room walls that compliment each other oh-so-well... by the way, Rachel is a Graphics Design Artist. Her house is her empty canvas... (puke, I can't believe I just said that.)

This evening as I plopped down on the floor to change my 7 week old son's diaper I realized I should probably do an outfit change as well due to the ungodly amount of spit up and stains that adorned his current outfit. I clumsily gathered my limbs underneath me and cautiously stood up -- don't know what it is but I still find myself physically acting as though I'm 9 months pregnant, hence the "gathering my limbs underneath me..." part. I walked the 10 steps over to my 10 lb. "purse" and begin digging through it when I lifted my head to a quite disturbing smell. I discretely walked around after retrieving my son's outfit from the abyss and sniffed doorways... areas of the room... trying to track down the source of the scent. It still "lingered" and I couldn't figure it out. I finally rested on the conclusion that it couldn't be anything other than "wetness-turning-to-mildew" wafting from the laundry room just beyond where my purse was sitting. A little disturbed, I traipsed back to Benjamin lying on the floor and sat down in front of him. As I shifted him, so as to change him with the most ease, I mentioned something about "the smell" to Kristen - another woman in our group. As she walked over she smelled the same smell coming from the same part of the house.

Now was the moment, when I knew something was amiss amongst the beauty and I should really tell Rachel... but I wouldn't want her to think that I thought she'd be so careless as to leave a load of laundry in the dryer if it wasn't true! And I'd really rather her find out on her own - thinking that nobody else knew (because that's how I would feel) - if it WAS true! It was the mildew-y smell I was smelling... I was fairly certain. (By the way Rachel would kill me if I mentioned to her that her house breathed perfection to me because we've known each other long enough that our "secrets" have been shared for the most part and I should know better... but she really does have incredible taste and a phenomenal sense of organization and put-togethered-ness.) As I opened my mouth and mentioned it to her I smelled the smell again. She was surprisingly excited that I mentioned "the smell" as she quickly walked over to her couch and pulled from it one of the throw pillows. "I've been telling Jeremy that something smells 'off' here... " and she hands me the pillow to smell. "Its not these throw pillows as much, I don't think, as the couch itself. I think it smells weird! Tell me if its the couch!" I was relieved to find that it might not be the mildew in the laundry room but perhaps the couch -- completely out of her control!

Its NOT the couch... and I cautiously mention that it almost smells like that "wet too long" smell and she simply says "like mildew" and I say, as though its all coming together right at that moment for me, "yeah... like mildew..." She squints while she's thinking and mentions that she doesn't have anything in the washing machine... and then it hits me.

SMELL YOUR SON'S CLOTHES.

I did. And they wreaked of mildew.

The scent must have exploded out of my bag due to being under pressure for so long and lingered long enough that Kristen smelled it too when she walked close to my bag. The clothes aired out somewhat by the time I got back to Benjamin on the floor and then it was all mysterious.

In a single moment a secret of mine was revealed: I hate that I so often forget about the load of laundry in the washer and have to re-wash it... it is embarrassing and I would NEVER want anyone to think that it was a recurring problem of mine! So much so that I couldn't bring it up to Rachel even though she could probably care less if somebody "caught her in the act".

I was feeling oh-so-not-awesome anymore... but just to prove my confidence and lack of insecurity in myself and my ability to make a home I threw that filthy pair of pajamas to everyone in the room so they could smell and we could all have a good laugh...

Oh-so-not-awesome anymore...

What a perfect moment...

This morning Katie and William were instructed to stay within the confines of the Master Bath/Bedroom area in order that I may bathe for the first time this week. They do a great job given a little freedom even if its only 150 square feet of freedom.

Upon drying off, squeegeeing the shower door and popping Benjamin's binkie back in his mouth I was curiously drawn to the increasingly deafening music coming from beyond my bathroom door... as I opened it and peeked into the room Katie was wearing an elegant gown of Mom's lace-trimmed shirts and William was wearing his Spiderman pajamas... they were awkwardly dancing - mixing dance moves like "the twist" with a side gallop, none-the-less, a little head banging and gyrations of the hips and booty... they are TOTALLY enveloped in the blaring music and the song was "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood (see lyrics below). It was blaring and I started crying and laughing at the same time because the moment was so... AWESOME. I simply stood in my doorway because I couldn't pull myself from the scene! It was so good. William continued to run over to the radio and turn the volume up a little more... he did this about 4 times during the song because I'm sure the pureness of the '80s was capturing his every sense. He couldn't get enough! He danced like a madman around the room - arms up and down, gallops and some sort of break dancing... the song just "oozed" with energy and in that William figured which "moves" were most appropriate for the moment... as did little Miss Cindy Lauper... off-the-shoulder layered bright shirts.

Remember the joy of the '80s... coincidently, the lyrics are perfect for such a moment:

HIGHER LOVE
Steve Winwood

Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, Ill look inside mine
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Wheres that higher love I keep thinking of?

Worlds are turning and were just hanging on
Facing our fear and standing out there alone
A yearning, and its real to me
There must be someone whos feeling for me
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Wheres that higher love I keep thinking of?

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring be a higher love
I could rise above on a higher love

I will wait for it
Im not too late for it
Until then, Ill sing my song
To cheer the night along
Bring it...oh bring it...

I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Wheres that higher love I keep thinking of?

Our Sunny Seattle Weekend

Going to the Woodland Park Zoo... Washing cars... getting my planter garden started... grilling just because it feels good to grill in the heat of the sunshine... and then grilling some more with good friends like Luke, Jesseca, Riley and Regan Emerson... learning to pee outside... but unfortunately only if you're a boy (Katie didn't take that so well)... swimming in the blow-up frog swimming pool and mowing the lawn with our new Reel Mower...

Becoming a little "man"

After dropping Katie off at pre-school on Monday I had a handful of errands to run. Please remember I have a newly potty trained 25 month old in the car - until then we had had no accidents since the second day of potty training (except nighttime wetness) so I knew my odds of him having a sudden "urge" that couldn't be held was quite low. Needless to say, I LOVE that I have a newly potty trained kid that I can take out in public only 1 week after beginning his training... please read my previous potty training blog if you are wondering what method I used.

*****

Walking into the Mill Creek US post office I knew was a risk seeing as I've never had to use their restroom but I wasn't overly concerned. I walked proudly in - large package in hand and a stack of letters that held family photos I wanted to share with relatives. William held my other hand and Ben was comfortably sleeping in the Baby Bjorn. William brought with him a bouncy ball to keep himself occupied while I stood staring off into space while every once in awhile shifting my gaze from Ben and kissing his sweet face to staring at William and ruffling his hair reminding him gently to tell me if he has to go potty to...

"Mommy. I have to go pot-tee." He said it so matter-of-factly and in such a calm manner that it didn't quite sink in. I stared at him for a moment before repeating what he said. By that time he was already preoccupied running his grimy fingers across the front of the stamp display case and looking down at his feet as he stepped one foot in front of the other... he looked up when he heard me and said "yes" while looking at me expectantly. I wanted to say "Well! What do you WANT ME TO DO?! There's no restroom at the post office! You know that!" but biting my tongue and taking a deep breathe I quickly glanced from one end of the office to the other - nothing. No little black silhouettes of man/women signage, no promising doors that looked like they might lead to "you know where" even though its not meant to be used by the public - nothing. I glanced at the individuals who were glancing at me -- I'm not stupid. I could tell that they were, with all due respect, preying on this poor mother of two small children to be their "pick me up" during the lunchtime hour away from their mundane job. I know they were anxious to see what my course of action would be -- I defied all odds and was able to stay calm. I politely excused myself from the line and made my way outside, across the parking lot and into the van.

Now I know that the entire post office is one large window and I could feel the sympathy stares while I got in the van of all those people with nothing better to do while they stood in line. I left thinking out loud to myself and half instilling confidence in William that we'll "go find a place to go potty" - to my credit I never promised a toilet. We hopped in the van and as I began unplugging Ben from the Bjorn and telling William to jump in his seat I saw it... my Starbucks coffee cup. It was half full with my coffee but my time here at the post office was worth more than $1.50. I opened the door... poured the coffee out and with a deep breath began to explain to my son what was about to happen. He was about to become a little "more of a man". I pulled down his pants while he asked "Mommy what are you doing?" with a curious look on his face. I put the cup up to his little peep and said, "okay honey, go pee." He did. He wanted to do it again. He loved it. Of course he did. I smiled at myself and chuckled as I put the top on. We proudly pulled William's pants up, opened the side van door and backed out of the van. I stepped onto the pavement and held out my hand for William - of which he politely refused because he wanted to get out himself. As I grabbed the coffee cup I paused... I knew the stares were heavier now. Maybe they were all standing at the window making bets on me! Maybe they've gotten to know each other so well by now - coats off, shirts untucked, ties loosened. This had become the highlight of their day! There were probably those that thought I would freak out and they would see flame ignite from the inside of the van... maybe someone thought I would pull out in such a frenzy that I'd hit the Bentley parked across from me... or better yet, the police car! Maybe someone thought I would cry in my front seat without any solution for my little boy and become a victim to the complexities of motherhood. But NO ONE could have placed their money on me giving up my jo for my little boy! No one could have seen that coming. I hadn't!

Again, I walked proudly in - large package sandwiched in between my upper arm and body while I held a stack of letters that held family photos I wanted to share with relatives. I had a pincher grasp on a warm cup o' jo from Starbucks. William held my other hand and Ben was comfortably sleeping in the Baby Bjorn. William brought with him a bouncy ball to keep himself occupied...

I confidently dropped the cup of coffee to the bottom of the trash can with a THUD as people looked on. I smiled and nodded as I stepped back into line.

Discipline is Love

The book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp has been revolutionary to me. Kyle and I's discipline of the kids has changed so dramatically -- not in our expectations of them but in our motivation. I've always told people that I want "children who are a joy to be around" which hasn't lost any luster for sure... but I'd rather that good behavior come from a heart that is ready to please his/her Maker before it's ready to please his/her Mom and Dad. I want them to be within the realm of blessing from the Lord and in their disobedience to their Heavenly Father they're missing out on that... it is my job, as they are so young, to keep them in the throws of God's blessing.

Today I caught myself hesitating before going upstairs to "spank" our 25 month old for grunting and burying his face in a pillow when I asked him to go put his pajamas on. He was being disobedient which required the appropriate correction. I have been questioned by family and friends in my husband and I's tactics as of late. The thought is that different behavior should require different discipline -- we agree wholeheartedly. The "behavior of disobedience" in our house requires strict and unwavering "disciplines on the bottom" (aka, spanks). Disobedience of the heart is sour in the Lord's eyes whether the behavior is not picking up your toys the first time asked or hitting someone when you know its wrong. Now the correction is a "discipline on the bottom" in our family whereas the consequence is a lengthier sentence.

For example, Katie was defiant in laying down and staying quiet in her bed this evening. She, in the least, received 5-10 "disciplines on her bottom" for the individual acts of disobedience. In that process, I (or Kyle) brought her into our room, swatted her on the bum with a spoon and then sympathized with her tears - it sucks to get disciplines but Mom and Dad are only acting in obedience to God as we are to discipline our children - then we revisit the "why" of the discipline, she has to apologize specifically for being "disobedient" and then Mom (or Dad) forgives. In short, the Gospel message. Its amazing to watch the softening of the heart in my children as we progress through these "steps".

After the first few disciplines, Katie decided she was still angry enough that she would continue the behavior of shouting and disturbing the household with her "unpleasantness". I calmly explained to her that she would receive "discipline on her bottom" this evening but she would also risk the chance of having girlfriends over this week for a "planting party" because she needed her sleep and the party would require missing nap time. If she wasn't going to get it now, she would need it then. She was broken-hearted, and justifiably so, yet still willing to be selfish in her behavior.

Isn't that how we are?

A girl chooses to disobey her parental authority at the age of 16 - she drinks and drives and pays the consequence of having a DUI on her record for years. A girl chooses to have a sexual relationship at a young age... the reprimand from the Lord is gracious and she walks away with scars that are only emotionally permanent. She confesses and repents of her sin (a sin is a sin is a sin, remember) and she moves on from there. Our mindset of putting our child in "time out" for one minor act and "spanking" for a more serious act doesn't seem to coincide with the hand of God, does it?

The act of disobedience of the heart deserves the same correction, repentance and forgiveness no matter what the behavior and we may be incredibly surprised by the outcome seeing as our behavior was "so much worse" or "not as bad" as the next guy... but God is to judge the heart. If I know my child is having a heart of disobedience than I treat it accordingly... God's Will for my child will span from there.

Benjamin Berges Schei - 4+ weeks

3 Day Potty Training with Lora Jensen (and William McCormick)

Today is Day #3 of Potty Training. During my "quiet time" this morning I prayed specifically that today would be the day that it "clicks" with William. It did. We have had NO accidents... we have pooped in the potty TWICE and I've even been interrupted during a tension-filled phone conversation I was having with a dear friend with William wimpering loudly "mommy I want to go potty!" (tension-filled because I was FOCUSING on William the whole time and repeating every so often "tell Mommy when you need to go potty" over the mouth piece of the phone) His big sister is SOOOO proud of him - probably because every time he goes SHE also gets M and M candies to eat... just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Things are going well. If anyone needs advice on potty training don't come to me just go buy the ebook by Lora Jensen and be encouraged that your little one will be done with diapers in 3 days from now!

Lounging

Probably watching George or Clifford -- something educational...

Thank you Aunt Kendall, Uncle Jim and Great Grandma McCormick for our new shirts!

The Schei children...

Catherine Elizabeth, 3 years, William McCormick, 2 years, and Benjamin Berges, 5 days. Wow... we have 3...

The Boys

William McCormick, age 2, and Benjamin Berges, 5 days.

He is here

Benjamin Berges Schei was born at 12:52 pm. Weighing in at 8 pounds 14 ounces and 'standing' 20.5 inches tall. He has a calm demeanor and is very alert. He started working his eyes open right away and is now looking everyone in the face and mimicking our expressions.

Krista is feeling great. Ben was out in 4 'pushes' and delivery happened without any surprises. We will be in the hospital for 24 hours and then released to go home.

Ben got a 9/9 on his APGAR... I think he is going to ace his hearing test, too. He follows me with his eyes when I am talking. We covet your prayers and can't wait to introduce Benjamin to his family and friends.

A very timely family

After today, we will be 3 for 3 in natural births that arrive on their due date.

Krista and I are at the hospital now for the birth of our third child. Labor began this morning at 2am. We arrived at the birthing center at 6:45am 4 cm dilated and Krista in nearly unbearable pain with each contraction. Bay 8:30 am she was 7 cm and much more comfortable with a epidural. Big ups to the anesthesiology doc! He was fast, did a great job, and really was comforting.

Now we are waiting for the water to break to get things going. Our little buddy should be here in no time. More information to come...