Mr. Clean Magic Eraser

I am one who finds something that works and then no matter what the cost, I stick with it.

*Running as the best form of exercise
*Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
*Eating less calories than I burn
*Lucky Brand jeans
*Jesseca Emerson and I
*Kyle
*3 Day Potty Training
*Pampers through Stage 1, then Huggies
*Folex
*Grocery Game dot com
*Flip-flops
*Never away from home at nap time
*Herbal Essence
*Just In Quesadillas at Red Robin

... and the list goes on.

I have now added:

*Mr. Clean MAGIC ERASER

By the way, it contains MSG. That amazing eraser has cleaned off every mark on my walls to date and I just bought it today.

I have Jesus for my salvation and Mr. Clean for my walls.

Won't you be my neighbor?

Fred Rogers coined the phrase, "won't you be my neighbor?" many years ago. What I love is that the shows we've chosen to turn on for our children during our morning wake-up-slow session has been none other than Mr. Rogers followed by Sesame Street. There are no commercials on KCTS which in turn assists Kyle and I in our attempt to free our children from the inability to pull themselves away from what our culture has labeled as being hip and necessary. We've desired for them to play outside... get out of their comfort zone (don't even talk to me about the recent articles I've seen regarding "how to transition your child to a different preschool")... meet people who, in fact, are different than them... do things that give them energy and provoke creative and imaginative thought... no, I'm not referring to the nouveau way of raising a child but instead the, what I think is supposed to be, normal way of raising a child.

****

It was a moment I'll never forget.

The doorbell rang last week and I opened it to find two boys - the ages of 5 and, I assume, 10. The little boy, Ryan, asked if Katie could play. A smile danced across my face and I almost skipped into the kitchen knowing that Katie would soon discover that wonderful childhood feeling of "wanting to be played with", being beckoned to the front door to go discover something in the neighborhood that hadn't been discovered yet, to go ride bikes until Mom called you in for dinner, to go be kids before you had to return to structure and discipline. This was her first time.

She didn't know what to do at first. She scrambled out of the kitchen to find she arrived at the front stoop shoeless and without a helmet... this isn't going to do, she thought... but what if they leave before I return with my shoes on, she thought... where is my helmet and should I get my bike out first, she asks herself... "WAIT GUYS DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME!" She yells from the front stoop as she flips around and scrambles down the hall to the closet. Her eyes darting every which way without hope of ever accomplishing the task at hand... my heart lept. This was my moment as a Mom to shepherd my child as I've never done before. To teach her that this is only the beginning of great adventures with neighborhood friends.

I got down and calmly took hold of her hands. "Katie, would you like me to get your helmet and bike for you while you put your shoes on?" It was as though I had just roped the moon. Once she was over the elation (for a mere half second, of course) she ran into the closet still yelling every few seconds for the boys to wait for her. She would get one shoe in her hand, run all the way to the front door and cup her hands around her mouth, run back to the closet, find her other shoe, run to the front door and cup her hands around her mouth... on and on it went. It was wonderful to watch.

She rushed down the driveway, helmet on and carefully, but hurriedly, walking her bike. She was off. She spent a couple of hours biking up and down the sidewalk between our house and the boys house about 100 yards away. I casually kept an eye on her and found myself pulling my heart back into my chest a few times... this was harder than I thought.

Yet exactly what I want.

Not above much.

That there is a picture of pizza and poop. (right)

I will usually change my sheets about once a week... if that grosses you out than I will refrain from telling you what I put up with during those seven evenings of sleep. I'll just let you guess...

I nurse in bed... my 4 month old throws up after every feeding... sometimes my daughter crawls into my bed during our afternoon nap and brings with her a cup of what was at one time cold milk and her baggy of crackers trailing crumbs throughout the sheets... I sweat from hormones... Kyle sweats because he sleeps for goodness sake... Ben wets THROUGH his pajamas frequently while snoozing in our bed... there's those "dutch oven" moments when William crawls into our bed to say good morning and its not until I lift the sheet up close to my chin, an ammonia smell wafting up from the depths of my bed, and I realize he's peed the his bed during the night.

Just this morning I awoke to William crying in the hallway for me. It was 6:00am and my body hurt. I was sleep walking as I approached him which, to my credit, was probably why I didn't notice how wet he was from having peed himself. I quietly shepherded him back to his bed and crawled with him under his sheets. It was at that moment I realized the severity of the situation at hand. As I laid there in disgust for a few moments feeling the wetness beneath me I tried to justify what I was about to do... but I couldn't.

So, without any excuse or justification, I will say that I closed my eyes in hopes that the smell of urine wouldn't keep me awake.

We awoke and bathed ourselves though! Can't say that happens everyday.

Boys and Butterflies.

I know, I know. MOST Moms of little boys find their son's creative, focused, gentlemanly, soft-side to be prevalent but undeservedly missed by the observing eye. Due to culture's presumptions that little boys are... well, you know... energetic, unfocused, hyper, kill-kill-kill, "burping out their bum", self proclaimed comedians... we often don't hear about the sweet side of things until one mom is trying to sell another mom on her son's better-than-most tendencies or the Christian mom is head over heels excited about her son's "break through" or God-like characteristics.

I like to think that although my 27 month old son enjoys "shooting people" as of late, we are on the brink of discovering the world's most peace filled and prayerful three year old on the planet. Never mind that just months ago he sat quietly in the midst of the Sunday service only to invent the one and only "blue crock gun". William sat quietly for 45 minutes following the worship time - inflating the pride of his mother and grandmother - and walked away with not life giving wisdom from the Lord but yet another annihilator of a device. He had carefully connected his two crocks together perpendicularly using the "pew pens" that most people use for sacrificial giving/tithe envelopes and had, to his amusement, a device for shooting down those up front making a mockery of "Amazing Grace". To his credit, it was most likely accompanied by a soundtrack and an invisible choir. If I had had my wits about me at the time I would have remembered such an abominable attempt but as I looked down the pew at my 2 year old I only saw what looked to be a well versed hunter scoping his prey waiting for the perfect kill as he looked through his scope.

Today, we entered the Butterfly Exhibit at Woodland Park Zoo. Accompanying our squad o' Scheis was Christelle Perman-Marshall and her three kids along with Rachel Kalous and her two... okay, almost three - due end of November this year. As we walked amongst the music and what was supposed to be "stillness" I watched as William went from being mesmerized by the butterflies to being excited about the butterflies to jumping around flying like the butterflies and climbing up places he wasn't supposed to to wanting to SQUASH the butterflies! This wasn't a mean attempt as much as it was a game! He was smiling and looking up in pride at me every time he was within close range of one on the path! I quickly and quietly tried to maneuver him away from the beautiful creatures but he was not to be swayed. His eyes were fixed on his prey, as beautiful and delicate as they were, and he was determined to catch one if it meant he had to beat it first. I was a little embarrassed as it was undesirable behavior to me - not surprising behavior, just undesirable. Surprisingly though, I found myself refraining from the ear to ear grin as I watched the joy dance across his face! With no reference point from which to leap I simply drew as clear of boundaries as possible and kept a close eye on what was unfolding to be an unbeatable battle. I wanted him to want to just hold them and caress their beautiful wings... I wanted him to smile and walk with a light step as he experienced unthinkable color combinations and unbelievable detail...

He wanted to squash them. I turned around half way through the exhibit to find him tailing a lovely orange butterfly as it flew around him in circles. He held his right foot in place as he spun and attempted to stomp the life out of what his sister and I would consider to be an incredible work of art.

Benjamin is four months old. Two boys at the Butterfly Exhibit will be quite the experience. I'm sure I'll be laughing even harder by then... oh Lord, don't let me forget the joys of this!

I saw Erin Brockovich today.

You know the woman I'm talking about. Or maybe you don't. You don't see them all that often to be honest with you.

As I steadily passed cars while driving in the HOV lane this afternoon I noticed a little Datsun truck in my rear view mirror was gaining on me. I kindly pulled into the fast lane so that s/he could pass me... as she passed, I smiled - with a bit of envy.

Inside the extremely small cab her hair whipped about. The windows were down and her elbow rested on the window so as to catch a little sun. Her 8 year old son sat across the bench from her with a look that said he knew much more about life than any other 8 year old out there... not necessarily bad. Just more. They sped at approximately 75-80 mph, if I were to guess, and they had the world at their fingertips. Swinging from the rear view mirror was a faded "Little Trees" air freshener.

I caught sight of her low cut spaghetti strap tank and her tight shorts... her son was blond and handsome in a young summer boy kind of way.

Oh it was a wonderful moment... one that made my day. I wanted to yell and make sure she knew that she was better than the world gave her credit for. I wanted to go meet her and learn a few things from her as far as life goes. I know she could have taught me a thing or two.

In any case, blessings to the Mom in the little red Datsun truck driving North on I-5 today... you made me smile.

An "ah-ha!" moment...

Just in the past 3 months, Kyle and I have restructured our disciplining style somewhat. One of the most prevalent aspects of this new style comes in the form of physical discipline - spanking. Yes its been used in the past but without seeking God's approval and wisdom but rather as a quick get-to-the-point form of punishment. I have at moments found my anger to be so intense that I feared harming Katie or William but was also stubborn in my approach and felt that I had to "follow through" or else the lesson at hand would be compromised in its effectiveness.

Well, it wasn't until this anger turned into a rage one night that I was quickly aware of the unGodly approach we were choosing to take with our children and their discipline. I knew in my heart of hearts that spanking them wasn't wrong and that there was most definitely a time and a place for it -- we were fine with that. But something was missing and I didn't have any idea of where to start. So we just stopped.

Stopped spanking altogether and tried other approaches.

One night while taking our babysitter home I was enlightened to my daughter's lack of respect for authority. Emily had politely enforced that Katie eat her dinner and Katie suddenly erupted into screaming at Emily that "no! she won't eat her dinner!" She continued with this exceptional behavior throughout the evening. When Kyle and I spoke later that evening I was livid. I couldn't believe that Katie would think that she could scream at Emily like that! I began thinking of "things" to take away from her - privileges to deprive her of - when alas, God opened my eyes. The punishment didn't fit the crime. It was rather arbitrary and was a continuation of the lack of effective discipline she'd been receiving.

I quickly picked up the phone and dialed Amy Baron's number in Bellingham.

This is what wise Amy said,

If this were my daughter, I would go into her room immediately after she wakes up in the morning and explain to her that Emily told me about her behavior the evening before. Because of that behavior she would need to receive a 'discipline on the bottom', ask for my forgiveness, then she will need to call Emily and ask for her forgiveness.

I prepared myself for what could be a 'fight' in the morning when Katie says that 'no, she will not call Emily and ask for her forgiveness'. I asked Amy what she would do in THAT situation.

She responded with such a simple answer,

I would tell her that 'okay, then you will receive another 'discipline on your bottom' for being disobedient to Mom', she would then need to ask my forgiveness for being disobedient to me, and then we would continue on with calling Emily.

It made so much sense! It was all about owning your sinful nature, asking forgiveness from those you've offended, and then restoring the relationship. The gospel message, plain and simple. Our sinful nature... our owning our sinful nature... our asking forgiveness from the only one who can offer forgiveness for our sinful nature... and therefore accept the relationship He has to offer us. We are restored back to our Creator.

****

Well, lately... oh dear heavens. My 3 year old has made me so angry that I actually kept myself physically from her for most of the day last Thursday because of her lack of respect for my authority. She was disobedient and disrespectful. I was in tears -- without her knowing, of course. I didn't know what had happened to my 'heart of gold' child and found myself spiraling into the fear that this was just who she was and that it would be like this for a very long time.

At that moment, I gave up. I gave up on what I had prayed about as far as discipline goes... I gave up on what Kyle and I had agreed on with how we were restructuring our disciplining... I gave up on caring pretty much... I've been lethargic and compliant. And not in a way that creates children after God's own heart.

But to my credit they've been rather well behaved! They've been better listeners... or have they? They've been better at obedience... or have they? Has it seemed so just because I haven't put up the fight? Has it been 'easier' because I've rolled my eyes and chosen to back down from what I know is Godly parenting -- otherwise, extremely hard and time-consuming parenting?

A close friend of mine has mentioned throughout our friendship anytime that we've talked about parenting that she doesn't quite understand why I do things the way that I do them. She says, 'I feel as though I get the same results and I don't spank or inflict any physical punishment on my children' -- we have talked about the difference in how quickly her techniques become effective... not as quickly as mine. But isn't that just the nature of the beast?! When you physically discipline appropriately, you see faster results. Both she and I understood that and were comfortable with it - I, with my physical discipline, and her, with her non-physical discipline.

So lately, as I've watched my children be 'easier to maintain' I've had this unsatisfactory feeling about where their hearts are. I've realized that I'm NOT doing my parenting job by allowing them one... two... THREE warnings before they obey. No! I am failing my children miserably when I allow them to be disobedient even once! When they disobey they are outside the realm of God's blessing! When there is a warning enacted, there is an intentional decision as a parent to let them to live in the luke-warm! So 'no warnings?', you ask. Correct! Why would we allow our children to live for that nanosecond of time outside of the realm of God's blessing? Its not THAT moment that matters for that moment has come and gone... its the next moment immediately before a warning is given. The child has disobeyed their authority knowingly and they are sitting in the midst of the luke-warm. It is our job to keep them from folly! To raise them in a way that teaches them the authority of God and all He asks of us as His creation.

Tonight I will pray for the ability to parent in such a way that God's glory is brought to the forefront of every decision my children make. Please don't laugh or shake your head... it IS possible and I know that God has asked us, as assignees raising up HIS children, to show them that it is His glory that matters. The children get it... more than we do sometimes.

So here I am... once again. Realizing that 'the rod' is necessary in Kyle and I's parenting. And its necessary immediately. To maintain it is hard in the beginning but it then plateaus and eventually its few and far between. You have kids who hear the gospel message even in the midst of correction -- especially in the midst of correction. To enforce 'the rod' without following it up with wisdom and teaching can't be Godly and I can imagine why so many parents in our day and age are shying away from it. The rod is used to render a child's heart humble and ready to hear 'life giving words', as mentioned in Tripp's book Shepherding a Child's Heart.

Unbridled anticipation

Remember when you were little and the "countdown" was always Christmas day... it was rare that I counted down to my BIRTHDAY although I always knew that it was "next week" or in a "couple of days", etc.

The one thing that I always counted down to was our family's trip to Lincoln City, Oregon. I think that was so important to me because it wasn't often that my Dad had one ENTIRE week off of work where he didn't have to go anywhere (most exciting thing!)... it wasn't often that we got to see the ocean... it wasn't often that Mom and Dad took off to take "romantic walks" although their PDA has never been lacking... it wasn't often that we got to eat crab without stopping... it wasn't often that our entire family - extended as well - sat and hung out doing who-knows-what for seven days straight... and it wasn't often that we got to hang out with Grandpa and Grandma Berges for a lengthy period of time -- so lengthy that their bickering began to wear on you just as you were packing up to leave...

In ten days we will embark on our annual trip to the Oregon Coast. We have done this for years... ever since I was in Elementary School! You know, when Angie and I were best of friends and Geoff usually hung out with Kevin Johnson. David's best friend, Nick Nunamaker, was always around and we spent ample amounts of time at Julie Moyer's house swimming except when she and I were fighting... in fact, it was around that time in my life when I learned what it meant to "turn the other cheek" and so as Julie walked off the bus I told her I would pray for her! More specifically that I would "pray for her heart to be warmer". I still remember the moment when she looked at me like I was the scum on the bottom of her oh-so-cool turquoise with pink rubber Keds. She and I both had mullets... she didn't have that much on me.

So here it is again. Our anticipated week before the week before the week at the beach. During this particular week I usually make all of the unnecessary lists that are simply my "venting" of excited energy. I don't need to make these lists... much like when someone puts something on their list that they've already done just so they can cross it off... it feels just as nauseatingly Type A as that does but with a bit more fruitfulness. I will use these lists but I won't actually attempt to DO anything with them until about Thursday night before the Saturday that we leave - which is 5 days from now.

... I'm getting so tired I'm going to publish this post without finishing any of my thoughts. So here you have it. I can't wait for next week!

Our visit to "the Island"

Thank you Grandpa and Grandma Schei for our wonderful visit to your house...

We loved eating breakfast on the deck and discussing politics such as whether or not Spiderman and Batman will ever unite forces and if Barbie should be a "girls only" toy...


We loved being silly and laughing together...


We loved helping you plant the oh-so-important bushes...

And Benjamin loved his very first swim...


And in fact, he was exhausted and lounged in the sun while he caught some shut eye...

Thank you for all of the fun we had... we love you both sooooo much...

4th of July 2008 - Schei and O'Shea

We spent the day celebrating our independence with the O'Sheas at their house in Snohomish. The men and children waded down the river 50 yds to "Rock Island" located in the middle of the Pilchuck River. Kyle and Andy spent a good hour building a rock wall in hopes of creating the perfect swimming hole for the kids amidst the gentle rapids. Michelle and I sat on their patio discussing our life, the liberty that some peoples' children take to just speak their mind regardless of how young and inexperienced they are, and the pursuit of happiness - in other words, getting through the next 7 months until Benjamin walks and can be somewhat independent of me or in Michelle's case, telling off those few 9 year olds who have lost all social tact, consequently causing hurt feelings in hopes of boosting their own ego... yes, I encouraged this immature behavior in Michelle. When you spend most of the day embracing the lives of your children and all they encounter, sometimes you find yourself punching a 5 year old in the face in order to release the aggression you've had pent up since that one girl in middle school kissed your boyfriend behind the portables.

You never completely heal from those things.

After emerging from the river one by one, the children sunk into the hot tub. The big kids worked on large feats such as holding their breath under water while William stood on the sidelines shooting every head that popped up with his first ever water gun. It was so fun to watch.






















For dinner we barbecued steaks, hot dogs and hamburgers. Devoured a large bowl of freshly picked strawberries and helped ourselves to one, if not two, helpings of dessert. The kids entertained themselves for a couple more hours while the adults sat and enjoyed each others' company outside. Ben, of course, either standing atop someone's legs doing his best impression of a bobblehead or attached to my breast.

I really can't wait until he walks.

The game plan for the evening was to stay put until dusk arrived, caravan up to Marysville and witness the Everett fireworks display. A client of Andy's invited us to take up residence for the evening in their vacant million-dollar home overlooking the bay. Once we arrived, the men and children, once again, took off for the water while Michelle and I sat and chatted. It was at that moment that I turned around with a look of confusion as I heard the faint sounds of patriotic music spilling from the kitchen window out onto the patio. I looked at Michelle and asked, "did you bring your own music?" She had. So there we were. Like a couple of old ladies sitting side by side and embracing the joys and pains of our country's history in silence. But then I couldn't stop laughing and shaking my head at the two of us. I'd regain my composure, pay respect to the moment and then fall into laughter again. I believe I cried I was grinning so hard. It was an awesome moment. While the music played we pulled our blankets up to our chins and prepared ourselves for the return of the men and children up from the water. The evening had only begun.


It was from there that we watched thousands of fireworks throughout the evening. Kids were up until after 11pm - something we've never done before. Seriously. But there was so much joy to be had as we sat sprawled out on the lawn looking up at the sky and laughing with our friends.
Its gonna be hard to top this year's 4th, that's for sure.

Adverse effects

I can try with all my might to look as though I don't have extra skin hanging around my mid-section. I CAN fit into my old jeans but that's not to say I would ever in my life again wear my old jeans and a bikini top - which at one time in my life I know I thought was a sexy outfit. Nope. In fact, if you were to see me in my jeans without a top on your eyes would be drawn to the raisin-esque skin that now has taken up residence in the most precarious spots. No matter how much effort I put into fitting that loose skin neatly into the top of my jeans so as to look flat, I can't seem to make it magically disappear.

This is not unlike the physics law that says something to the tune of not being able to create mass out of nothing nor is one able to make mass become "non-existent" - whatever that law is. Same as when you try to eat an overstuffed sandwich neatly or try to bite into the Skinny Cow without spilling ice cream out the backside. A Smore is another GREAT example. When trying our darndest to control something that is uncontrollable in nature our efforts are in vain.

Which brings me to my point.

July 1st was a day of great distress as I realized I couldn't hold my phone anymore while driving. I know, I know. Some of you are saying its a "secondary offense"! But what CAN'T an officer pull you over for in order to say, "oh, and by the way Mam, you had your cell phone up to your ear and that's illegal too"... So, just yesterday my husband taught me how to use my first ever blue tooth headset.

Oh man. Like I said, our efforts are in vain when we try to control the uncontrollable. Doesn't anyone out there helping to create these laws know that if a Mom has her hand occupied by holding a phone up to her ear at least she's limited in what she can do while talking on the phone. The stuff that I pulled off yesterday WHILE talking to my brother on the phone would have boiled any safety expert's blood. They would have been baffled in fact. What they tried to control was my the attention that I divert from the road when I'm holding my phone up to my ear. What they didn't realize is that I can now drive with my left hand, hold a pacifier in my son's mouth, look in the rear view mirror at the comical faces of my 2 and 3 year old in the backseat WHILST talking on the phone. All the while feeling a bit out of sorts because it takes extra effort for me to figure out how to HANG UP... CALL... etc.

The skin cascades over the top of my snug-fitting Lucky jeans every time I sit down, the mustard and mayo combo squeezes out the backside of my sandwich despite careful manipulation, the ice cream inevitably drips on my recently mopped floor and my ability to multi-task while driving has grown exponentially.

Thank you to those who are always trying to save me from my own self. Better said, my own stupidity.

Good luck to you.

Creating Moments

Its rather plastic to think about "creating moments" because 'moments' should just happen. But I've found as a Mom that the more you try to create them the more extraordinary moments you have. Making the effort to bring together the unlikely scenario in hopes of experiencing something extraordinary rarely fails to deliver.

Today, in spite of the thunder, lightning and unpredictable rainfall I took the kids to feed the ducks down at Silver Lake. I sported the Moby Wrap with Benjamin fit snugly inside while Katie and William wore their rain-gear and crocks. We had stopped at Central Market to purchase some hot dog buns and made our way down to the water.

We were alone. Surprise.

I believe even the ducks made us feel stupid. Their hesitant approach suggested that nobody would be there to feed them with a rationale mindset and instead we were there to skin them illegally and take them home for dinner. I took a deep breath and said, "c'mon you stupid poultry just create some memories and give me the benefit of the doubt for god's sakes." They did! I've never seen the kids so close to the ducks before! We unloaded 8 hot dog buns in less than 5 minutes and the kids didn't want to leave.

Don't give me too much credit (and maybe you're not), realize that on the way from Central Market to the park I considered going straight home and apologizing to the kids that the weather made it "impossible" for us to feed the ducks. But I knew that was BS. I knew that in the Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter there could exist any number of reasons NOT to do something and instead I wanted to find a reason TO do something. We would survive... and the kids would enjoy it. And oh wow, I enjoyed it too! Shocking.

Of course I enjoyed it! The fresh air. The rain. My kids. The silence away from society because they were all indoors at the moment - rationally so.

We had a wonderful time. And for a moment, I just encourage you to think outside your box and allow yourself to get soaked. You'll love it! So what if it takes you 15 minutes to exit the vehicle considering all the preparation involved! So what if your van gets wet! So what if your kids ride home naked! So what if you have an extra load of laundry!

The kids will sleep better and so will you.

Last night in Seattle

Early this morning I woke to lightning illuminating Kyle and I's bedroom followed by the inevitable boom of thunder. The thunder was awesome. It was the kind of thunder that surprises you because it makes your bones jitter inside your body. The first crack sounds and then it only escalates. Each time there's some unfounded anxiety that it will escalate to a point that it... I don't know! That's what creates the anxiety! Will it... wake the kids? knock you over? make the ground explode? break a window? fall on you? I don't understand it but for some millisecond of time anxiety is created and then it is gone and what's left is exhilaration. At least for me. I love this stuff.

Before going to bed, whilst locking up the house, I witnessed eery flickers of light down the hallway, up the staircase, in the entryway... finally it occurred to me that it was coming from outside. I beckoned Kyle to the front stoop and there I sat curled forward between his legs with his arms wrapped around me and his chin resting on my shoulder. With wonder I waited... anticipating that there'd be another flash coming soon. I wanted to wake the kids and experience it with them in hopes that they would find it as breathtaking as I did. But I wouldn't dare. I felt like I was dating again, unfortunately for Kyle, without the temptation to go upstairs and make out. I was so tired.

One Gene Pool

Catherine Elizabeth Schei (left) at 22 months.

William McCormick (above) at about 24 months with Catherine Elizabeth and Benjamin Berges.


William McCormick (left) at 3 months.

Benjamin Berges (below) at 3 months.


And can you figure out who THIS is (right)? Yes, Catherine Elizabeth at 3 months.

Ponderings as of late

Why is it that I have a resistance towards destinations such as The Great Wolf Lodge and would much rather take my family camping for a weekend?

Why is it that what is most exhausting to me isn't the 5 errands I ran with all 3 kids today but the cumulative 10 minutes I spent over the course of the day waiting for my son to focus and pay attention to what I was asking him to do?

Why is it that when my husband challenges me to do something it is all the more enticing than when he doesn't? And no, don't misunderstand me, this is not an emotional or spiritual challenge but more the likes of two children making bets on who can hold their breath the longest. I'll let you know how I do 29 days from now.

Why is it that salad tastes better when someone else makes it?

Why is it that I walk around my house looking for things to pick up or clean and then get frustrated that there's always something for me to do? I need to stop looking for goodness' sake.

Why is it that I can't stop surfing craigslist even when I don't need anything?

Why is it that William is so much harder to get the attention of than Katie? He is constantly needing discipline and redirection in order to accomplish even the smallest of tasks.

Why is it that the things I'm doing right now are the things my children will one day look back on, critique, and change when deciding how to raise their own children? I would like a heads up! Its amazing what I could learn if I now knew what I will know then.

And by the way, when its this hot and I'm sweating profusely inside my house I always remember Ashley Judd in "A Time to Kill". Just a random thought in hopes that there might be more people like me out there. Oh yeah... and when I hear a certain song from the Fightclub soundtrack I always picture myself driving a Shelby GT as if in a movie.

Enough about me. What are your thoughts?

Willis D. Tucker Meltdown

We arrived just as I was thinking to myself, "maybe I shouldn't do this"... but I spent only moments thinking that way when I was suddenly embraced by the warm sunshine. I had by this time opened the van door and dropped one leg out as the sun and all its warmth spilled in.

It was beautiful. But it was 11:30am and I knew that the kids needed food and they then would need sleep. I was riding on high hopes that the activity of the park would keep them alert and pleasant enough that we just might stay for longer than 45 minutes. We did -- but not alert and not pleasant. I know better than this.

It began with a semi-sleepy William climbing out of the van not sure of which way was up. But he was still awake! There was hope! Katie was beginning to smile less and drift into a starry state where she observes with little desire to interact. As you can see, I was fully aware of the children but still I continued to unlock the stroller, release the kids from their car seats and gather miscellaneous items. Benjamin had already started fussing a little and I was getting all the more nervous.

Rabbit trail:
See, for those Moms out there that have been more than encouraging with regards to my parenting skills and my "ability to cope" it all has to do with timing. I WILL NOT take my kids to the mall, or anywhere for that matter, if its past 12Noon until after they have napped. That's ridiculous. I would be in a constant state of chaos if I didn't run my life by my children's nap schedules. My expectations of them and their behavior are exceptionally high when they're NOT TIRED. The minute we hit the tired state I expect very little of them because it is MY job to get them home and in bed.

Done with the rabbit trail, thank you for listening.

So there we were, making our way into the swarms of Moms, Dads and kids. I told the kids that our first priority was to eat and then they would be allowed to play. They did. And they did it without argument. A simple "ok Mom" is what I expect them to say, and they did! We were doing good so far. A half-sandwich and a couple Oreos later, the kids began exclaiming what they'd like to do. By this time Ben was lathered in sunscreen and staring at his glistening feet as he sat in his infant car seat being pelted by the sunshine... he loved it. Things were definitely looking up.

We met up with some friends... talked a little... hung out under the sun-shade... rode the merry-go-round... and as it approached 12:30pm I noticed signs of melt-down. I rode the wave a little while longer until I was paddling a little too hard to keep up. My expectations of how a day should go with my kids are quite high -- a swift "discipline on the bottom" follows ANY disobedience and a pleasant, polite, and respectful attitude should be had towards all. Understand this behavior doesn't naturally 'ooze' from a child but is completely within the realm of possibility and I believe should be of greater focus for more parents!

I began calling William over and over again before he looked at me and responded... I don't do well when there's a lack of attention to me and my demands. Katie was beginning to get a little emotional with a side of psychotic (dancing around and squeezing Harper's or Benjamin's cheeks
whilst crying about being thirsty). All said I began to gather the chicks quickly. But once the fire starts its amazing how quickly it spreads... Ben began crying, William stopped listening, Katie's feelings got hurt by someone and she couldn't think straight enough to not melt down in a heap, they needed hugs and kisses from EVERYONE before they left, Ben was hungry and wet and tired, the dumb stroller was not efficiently packed with enough room to house all my children so some walked, some were carried and some (William) decided that he had had enough and sat strategically down in the middle of the path back to the parking lot screaming and pouting. Katie, recognizing that I was part way to psychosis, stared at me in bewilderment and fear as I walked away from my screaming son towards the car. I tried to reassure her with a smile that I would NEVER leave him although I had to meditate on that thought in order to remember not to leave him. I was running for cover mentally. Bombs were dropping all around me and all I could see was the bunker in the distance - my '01 Honda Odyssey. Once in the car with kids strapped in I was practically home-free. Wild animals were caged and I could think straight.

THIS is how I'm able to get through a day with three kids. I adjust my clock to theirs' and adjust their clocks to mine. They are up at 6:30am and I adjust to that... but they are in bed no later than 7:30pm and that is necessary 99% of the time and I've adjusted their clocks accordingly. Nap time is at 12:30 or 1:00pm and I adjust my clock... no shopping, no visiting (unless its at my house), no school, etc. because I know my children would not live up to my expectations of behavior if I didn't allow them that downtime at that particular time of the day.

Rabbit trail:
I'm nervous because now I have a third and he's only 12 weeks old but already becoming regular in his nap schedule. Either one nap between 8:30a and 11:30a or two naps during that time... one nap at the same time that Katie and William take theirs' at 1:00pm and than another one before bedtime! How am I supposed to keep up with all the activities that my 2 and 3 year old want to do when I have a child who takes 2-3 naps a day?! Answer: 1) cope with a child who is not able to live up to my expectations of behavior and allow my 2 and 3 year old the activities available to them or 2) accept the fact that I cannot allow your 2 and 3 year old to be involved in activities that impede on the younger one's nap times. Both can be argued for! But I need to keep my expectations realistic. I sure hope I choose the latter because I think there will be far less consequences in the future to deal with and a greater understanding of selflessness in my children. Does that make sense?

Done with the rabbit trail, thank you for listening.

We got in the car. William and Benjamin fell asleep. Katie was almost comatose. William transferred willingly and without a hitch as did Katie. Benjamin was fed and laid down and he is still asleep at 2:45pm. The older kids just woke up and now I am going to go out and lounge on the couch with them to watch The Bee Movie. I've decided I've done enough today and now its time to be lazy and lounge. Dinner will be in a few hours and then we'll get ready for bed... probably all of us.

Have high expectations of your kids at the right times.

We love surprises!

Here is some afternoon humor with a couple of our favorite people....
Enjoy!



Thanks for stopping by.

Jesseca Lauper

She's gonna kill me for this... but its what makes a true friend a true friend... thanks for stopping by, friend. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Thrill Hawk

I met a bit of resistance yesterday when I sent out pictures of William and his 'new do'. Kyle gave him a mo hawk the other night in lieu of shaving it all off and I LOVED it. In addition to running my usual errands during the morning yesterday I also stopped off at Sally's Beauty Supplies in Everett and purchased bright blue "Hair Cement". Boy did I have fun with that...

Anyways, this morning when I awoke (after pleasantly sleeping in until 7:15am - thank you fantastic husband!) I smiled to myself upon seeing William's 'new do/bedhead do'. He smiled like any little 'boy next door' would smile and it was nice to know that my little gentleman was not about to be led astray by some punk rocker hair do. In fact, he proceeded to sit on the living room chair, ducky in arms, and "feed his baby". I quickly grabbed the camera. He then attempted to place his baby on the potty seat and help it push its "pee-pee" down as he spoke gently and reassuringly to it.
Adorable.

An ounce of energy buys you lots.

I decided that I was getting exhausted because the kids "needed" me all the time... "mom 'this'" and "mom 'that'"... I was going nuts. I found myself rolling my eyes at my daughter the other day and I got socked in the gut BY THE LORD. And it was a hard 'sock in the gut'.

You know the saying, "if your husband's praising himself too much its because you don't praise him enough"? Well, same goes for kids. If you don't give them the attention they need they'll demand attention from you just to prove a point - without them realizing it. And before you drive yourself nuts... just remember... IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

You didn't have kids to fulfill your own selfish interests... if so, you're in for real disappointment. NOT because kids don't give you 'joy you've never imagined'! But because kids give you 'joy you've never imagined' in ways that you've never imagined! Its not by giving you the sleep you need or by giving you "alone time" when alone time is much deserved/needed or by being obedient when it would be really great for them to be obedient. No. None of that is sure enough to bet on. So, for better results, expect great moments with your kids. Expect to be exhausted and exhilarated all in a moment.

Today, we made "No Bake Cookies". See recipe below:


No Bake Cookies (allrecipes.com - no bake cookies I)

• 1 3/4 cups white sugar
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 cup butter
• 4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter
• 3 cups quick-cooking oats
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS

1. In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, milk, butter, and cocoa. Bring to a boil, and cook for 1 1/2 minutes. Remove from heat, and stir in peanut butter, oats, and vanilla. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto wax paper. Let cool until hardened.

I needed to find a solution for my "high maintenance children" and I realized that if I took 1 hour and overwhelmed them with attention and praise then they would be satisfied! So much so that they let me blog while they played with their "Colorforms" (that we just received in the mail yesterday! See previous blog about Colorforms.)

So here I am... blogging.

Hey you.

Do you ever realize that you haven't said "hi" to yourself yet and its already 12noon?! Most days I've gotten a peek of myself, if not had a conversation with myself, by 12 noon... but not today. Today I've dealt with the remnants of last night's dinner and sick-child laundry. Today I've walked 41 flights of stairs to the rhythm of my kids' voices. They needed help from pouring milk to pulling down underwear... from wiping hands to turning on a movie... from tracking down favorite pajamas to tracking down the Lincoln Log directions. Today I've swaddled a baby at least 10 times in hopes of him being overcome by the soothing organic fabric sending him into dreamland. Today I've done dishes, wiped counter tops, served 4 meals to 2 children - staggered, folded 3 loads of laundry, nursed 4 times and laid 3 children to rest.

I've said hi to myself once.

The "Grocery Game" dot com...

For those of you that I haven't spoken to within the last 6 hours, I would like to say, "THE GROCERY GAME IS AMAZING!" If you visit the website, www.grocerygame.com, and choose to spend an hour or so reading through the rules of the game than you will be interested, in the least. But if you take the leap and pay $1 for the 4 week trial than you will most definitely be AMAZED. The results, for me, were unbelievable - 113% savings at Albertsons and about a 94% savings at Safeway! Check it out for yourself when you have a moment.

Summary of The Grocery Game strategy: STOP buying on a "need" basis and begin stockpiling. Create your own "store at home" and buy only when the item is at rock-bottom price. Grocery stores tend to run on a 12-week cycle where pork, for example, is on sale for a week than off sale for the next 12 weeks! Buy as much pork as you would need for 12 weeks when the sale is on then you're not forced to buy the pork at a premium! You'll save so much money buying ALL your groceries (including paper goods and hygiene items) this way.

This is what it takes:

1. Keep all grocery store ads during the week - have a specific place you keep them.
2. Retrieve the Sunday edition (I simply purchased the The Herald at the Mill Creek Albertsons for$ 1.50 this last Sunday but am in the process of subscribing to the Sunday paper for $12.47/3 months)
3. Cut ALL "manufacturers" coupons and store coupons that are appropriate for your family. Don't try to calculate savings at that point, "Teri's List" (you'll understand later) will do it all for you! Just go ahead and cut WHATEVER products are valuable to you. Set them aside. The "cutting" process was accomplished while I sat in front of the TV on Sunday morning with Kyle and the kids... super easy and didn't take more than 15 minutes.
4. Go onto grocerygame.com at 12N or later on Sunday (that's when the official "Teri's List" is posted for that week). Check off products that are ones you use in your house.
5. Print the list so that you can take it with you shopping (it gives you all the coupon details which I found to be VERY helpful as I shopped.)
6. Grab the corresponding coupons to the items you checked from the list and go shopping prior to midnight on Tuesday (when all the sales are reset for the next 7 days)!
***Krista Tip: Do NOT take kids the first time shopping with the list. You'll want to understand and get familiar with what you're doing and I guarantee you'll miss out if you aren't completely focused. After that, its easy. Plus, you'll "trust the list" so kids won't be an issue.***

If you're interested, check it out. I got $209.00 worth of groceries for $93.00 at Albertsons... and I got about $102.00 worth of groceries for $53.00 at Safeway! I cannot tell you how nice it is to know that I can shop at grocery stores that I enjoy (and trust the quality of) whilst saving loads of money!

... then I went and filled the gas tank.

The "Berges" name...

For years as a kid my family traveled throughout the Great Northwest for weekend getaways or "mini vacations" and we always seemed to run into someone who knew the Berges family, or "knew of" the Berges family, from Kennewick, Washington. It wasn't rare that we'd be walking down a trail near Mt. Rainier National Park or perhaps visiting a small coffee shop in Sandpoint, Idaho, when you'd hear "Dr. Berges!". My Dad would stop (with a shocked look on his face - which ALWAYS surprised me) in an effort to find the person who obviously recognized him. When he met the person's gaze it was followed by a surprised laugh and "the point". He'd then, miraculously, recall their name, follow it with a firm handshake and that would lead into small talk and family introductions.

THIS is the family I've been a part of my whole life... all 29 years of it. I'm now a "Schei" which seems to carry the same weight all the way from California to Washington. I can't say that there's ever been a time when I think to myself, "oh God forbid! HOW do you know who I am?!" It is more likely to be, "oh thank God! I'm so glad I got out of this mess unscathed because you knew my Dad! What a small world!"

Sick. I know. I'm about to make you vomit.

Whilst traveling the Great Northwest for the first time with my THREE children all by myself I was spared once again by the dear Lord Himself, I'm sure of it. Traveling 82mph in a 70mph zone on I-82 just outside of Benton City (see picture above) I caught a glimpse of the State Patrol car on the upcoming overpass... immediately after I caught sight of him he obviously caught sight of me because he moved from his spot so swiftly I began sweating and shaking. Amongst the long line of cars in the right lane, I knew he was coming after ME. No doubt.

After being pulled over I began to pull out my Driver's License as gracefully as possible. To quickly bring you up to date... while I had been traveling behind the 5-6 cars in the right lane going approximately 72-75mph my son calmly alerts me that he has to go potty... bad. He's holding himself and repeating the information. I slide into the passing lane and its at the moment my foot has successfully pushed the pedal to the metal that I notice the "Stater", as I've heard them called before. Horrible timing. And highly excusable, might I add!

Upon being pulled over and the State Patrol officer reaching into my passenger's side window to retrieve from me my licence, my son yells from the rear of the van, "Mom! I need to go potty!" and I calmly, and as assuredly as possible, tell him that I know and he only needs to wait a quick moment longer... the State Patrol officer looks at my license and then with a quizzical look on his face asks, "Are you a "Berges"?" My eyes travel from my son to the officer almost as if in slow motion... you know, you see my eyes shift slowly from one spot to the next with a dramatically slow blink in between... and I'm staring at him, "yes." A question in the intonation. He informs me... as he chuckles... that he played baseball with my older brother, Geoff, and he's a patient of my Dad's. Brian Bond is the name. I immediately picture his parents' faces in my head as I paid close attention to ANYONE of my brothers' friends and acquaintances during my younger years! We make small talk... all the while my son is calling from the rear of the van that he needs to go potty. I'm almost proud of him - he has, without knowing, been a wonderful asset to me getting out of this predicament with less pain... the officer has commented that William reminds him of his 18 month-old son and has inquired as to the "plan of action" I have for getting this kid to the restroom.

My hope is that I am, once again, unduely spared from paying consequences for my actions. I drove away knowing that I won't always be that lucky... or blessed... (sick). But really? Will I not take FULL advantage of it next time?

Honestly, I can't say I mind this. But I will try to be less... uhhh... how do you put it... a "Berges"?

Creative Children...

I think we've almost lost it... the idea of creative children. Imaginative children. But its not due to the amazing companies out there that provide imagination-provoking toys; its not due to the minority of parents who prioritize imaginative play consequently providing our world with a potent group of children able to infuse our playgrounds with incredibly bright children and thus keeping hopelessness at bay; its not due to the well-deserving teachers who have received awards for making their students think... no, the fact that we haven't lost all hope for creative and imaginative children is because children still exist!

During a birthday party for my sister-in-law, my daughter Katie found herself caught up in an old picture album that Lesley's mom, Lori, utilized to store all of their old Colorforms. This is not the Original Colorforms Set but ancient, none-the-less... meaning that Lesley, at her ripe 26 years of age, remembers playing for hours with this same set when she was little! It made me realize that we have unleashed a beast on our children named Disney (not exclusively) and we have created in them a "let it fall in your lap" type of fun. But in all her childlike-ness Katie found it in her to plop down by the sliding glass door in the family room and create Colorform magic... lines of silhouettes of cars and animals and people. I loved seeing her in her quiet thought putting together pictures and when asking for help also critiqued one's ability to stick them properly and in the right place. What was her story all about?! Why was she so upset when the dots were placed incorrectly by the innocent helper?! I loved it and have since been researching Colorforms on the internet and will be purchasing the Original Colorforms set in the next couple of days at Toys R Us (as it is $14.99 as opposed to $29.99 everywhere else.)