...saying "bon appetite" and wearing feather boas.

So the expectation was "fancy"... didn't need to be princess... didn't need to make sense... just get out whatever sparkles and glam you can find and put it on...

And be at Katie's house by 1pm.

Katie will be 4 years old this coming Friday, the 19th. With wonderful ignorance she simply asked for a "Fancy Nancy" party and we made it happen -- no big event. No parents. Just 6 girls in all their glam going through outfits like water for two and half hours.

We decorated our own Fancy place mats whilst sipping pink lemonade in wine glasses, eating orange cherry chip muffins, and grazing the small array of fruit chunks threaded onto fancy toothpicks...

Katie blew out the candles atop her miniature white with pink polka-dots cupcakes and then went to unwrapping the magnificently small pile o' gifts.

It was a wonderful day with wonderful friends... William had a play date with Dylan and Benjamin couldn't have been happier... take a look...

If you say "Happy Birthday" to Katie, be warned. She will explain to you that today was the "celebration of her birthday" but she's not really four until Friday.

Thank you everyone that came... we had a wonderful day and Katie felt so cherished --

Ava - the craft o' miscellaneous couldn't have been more perfect for the Craft Queen herself...

Kylee - the ladybug home will be so much fun to take part in... even William can't wait to get his hands on it!

Ella - Katie loves to paint!! Craft anything and everything when it comes to her PLUS jewelry?! Thank you...

Bella - thank you from Katie AND HER MOM. She will love doodling and coloring in the car with her new Barbie coloring roll.

Tia - the plate, the jewelry and the wonderful plaque are so personal and mean a lot. Thank you for the thoughtfulness you put into those things! Katie loves that she recognizes her name on things now... that meant a lot to her to be able to read the plaque!

Blessings to you, Fancy friends.

"The Chef" arrived this evening...

... and turned this.













...into this.




It was wonderful! Thank you wonderful Leonardsons for a fantastic evening. We are honored to call you all friends - and yes, for more than just the food.

The adults sat around the table savoring our meal of grilled salmon, mango salsa of sorts, steamed carrots, grilled radicchio and leafy greens with heirloom tomatos marinated in balsamic vinaigrette and discussed sin and our fallen human selves in light of what God offers... we talked about the heroic feats of husbands in the face of danger... or desire. Kyle and I topped off the evening with our own boxed brownies and store-bought ice cream served alongside some Kirkland coffee -- freshly brewed, of course!

The kids watched Mary Poppins and jumped on the couch... wrestled and argued as though they were brothers and sisters... and began to deteriorate at the hour of 9:30pm. When the parents (all 4 of us) decided the fight of keeping the kids entertained and well-behaved was harder than bringing the evening to a close we called it quits. The Leonardson family of 5 scurried out the door and the Scheis turned out the lights and huddled down to blog and watch TV. A perfect evening.





We appreciate each of you and can't wait to do this again.

God bless you. Sleep tight.

Entitlement.

I'm sure the history buffs out there reading this will roll their eyes and begin reciting all the reasons as to why the boundaries are the way they are... but honestly, have you ever thought to yourself (quite likely while trying to transpose the outline of a country for your 7th grade research paper), "who came up with these jagged little boundaries and aren't there better things they could do with their time?! (...quite likely while cursing your history teacher for assigning this particular country that you've never even heard of.)

Today during my BSF class here in the Seattle area, our Teaching Leader put up a map of Egypt and its neighboring lands prior to the creation of Iraq, Syria, Saudi Arabia... as we know them today and then overlaid the current countries. Sitting in the front row (suck up)... looking up at the overhead... I once again had the fleeting thought as to who does the work and why is there such detail put into the boundaries?

To me, it comes down to efficiency.

INEFFICIENT








EFFICIENT













I've got better things to do with my time and I'm simply trying to keep the kids from dropping their drawers in public! Nothing earth shattering...

But guaranteed, more important than who gets the 10 square miles of land unaccounted for... you take 5, I take 5. Fair enough.

And draw a straight line for goodness' sake.

The not-so-American way around here.

Just this morning my husband mentioned our shortness on expendable cash... I tried to respond in an even tone so as not to give away the fact that my feelings were hurt and always are a little hurt when he utters the "short on expendable cash" phrase.

The reason for my hurt feelings? Well, I like to consider myself a considerably low spender as of the past few years since having kids. We don't rent movies, we check them out from the library. We rarely buy food while out and about, we pack lunches. My husband, if he doesn't pack a lunch to work, snacks on his stash of almonds and protein bars purchased at Costco months before. I rarely purchase brand new clothes, I shop consignment - the only time clothes are purchased new is if that sale is better than the consignment store could offer me. I'm a Craigslist addict... I've realized McDonalds nickels and dimes Moms to death... the Grocery Game is the only way to shop and I get really disappointed if the sales receipt calculates less than 50% savings - and that's not a stretch. I drive an '01 minivan and I don't insist on having anything newer. Note I said both '01 and minivan... no SUV. No overwhelmingly high gas pump receipts and no "hot Mom with kids" feeling while driving. We ask for gift certificates for birthdays and holidays which has afforded our family a Woodland Park Zoo Membership and Kyle and I wonderful romantic dinners out. I've never thrown a big birthday party for any of my kids since Katie was born in '04 and William was born in '06 - we bake a cake, if that, and give a gift or two - they've never doubted the specialness of the day as they've always woken to hideously AWESOME white-trash streamers and non-helium balloons spewed across the kitchen! I've been cheap - expensive only where it counts.

As I sat across his office desk from him this morning as he offered me unsolicited information on our cash situation I began to cry. He looked from his computer screen to my face in astonishment. Truly. He was astonished! I explained to him through a low but wavy voice that I try so hard to spend as little as possible! Not because we need to but because there's so much more joy in creating a lifestyle that isn't growing in expense with every penny more that he makes! I do better now than I did when he was a full time pastor and making next to nothing! All this rolled off my tongue as he sat back in disbelief that I had very little clue as to how proud he has always been of my efforts.

My wonderful husband started into a pep talk that spoke from my mothering our kids to saving our family money and keeping the budget low. It meant the world to me and it was a wonderful moment to hear from the one man that I care the most to impress and amaze.

So, in a continuous effort to amaze him, I will throw the cheapest and most fun "Fancy Nancy" Party for my 4 year old this coming week. As I said before, she has never had a "birthday party" with friends and this will be the first. Lord knows I didn't buy any "Fancy Nancy" paraphernalia but we will have everything that Fancy Nancy would love... decorations and sparkles; cupcakes and glitter; crafts and fancy clothes. 6-8 4 year old girls dancing and twirling after decorating refrigerator boxes (aka cardboard houses) and/or puffy painting white t-shirts.

It should be a lot of fun. And it should be a lot of cheap.

First Carousel Ride

Afternoon Coffee

Its been a long time since I've felt the overwhelming sadness of emptiness... but I felt it the other day when Jenny drove out of the driveway. I smiled as best I could as the kids and I offered her our renown "Schei goodbye" from the front porch.

As I write this I'm looking at her picture and wishing that she would just walk in the room. Damn you Jenny, I'm choked up again...

Her son, Leo, is beautiful. I held him and wished that I was his blood relative simply for the connection that cannot be lost with blood relatives. He feels that close to my heart and I feel like I've awaited his arrival for so long. But he doesn't need another family member as he's got so many who will love and adore him... JoJo, Judy, Dick and Joe... all wonderful people that I too have grown to love and appreciate. I'm lucky to be amongst the intimate circle of friends that consider themselves family... have you ever, for a moment, stepped out of your shoes and thought to yourself what it must be like to have another family as your family? Not because of a discontentedness with the one you have but because of the adoration you have of another? I have... and I've found myself caring for and appreciating the Johnson/Haferbecker "clan" as I would my own family.

Anywho, on with the "Jenny" thing. So, here she is. And as Dusty knows best, she's beautiful... witty... smart... and incredibly wise in the way she lives her life. She cares about the global perspective of things and if I know Jenny, Leo will have a handle on how the world operates before he becomes sucked into the temptations of most children today in the U.S.. He will be setting up war with his G.I. Joe in hopes of ridding the world of AIDS and Child Prostitution. He will be found, at the age of 6, creating a country out of Legos with a female president. (Not to mention the embarrassment I felt when Jenny asked my daughter if she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up and Katie said, "No! I can't be a doctor!" with a laugh. And Jenny asked, "Why?!" Katie's response was, "Because I'm a girl!")

Jenny, I cried like a baby when you left. Katie consoled me! She asked if I missed my friend and I got to discuss with her what it feels like to have such wonderful companionship in life. We talked for awhile and she came to believe in the wonders of life-long friendships...

Thank you, friend. I love you and because you are who you are... I will tell you that I have to go because my son just woke up from his nap.

Coffee this afternoon?! See you then...

Sucka

Just recently my interest in photography has hit a crossroads. I have the choice to begin understanding the fundamentals of what makes a good photographer a good photographer through research and couple it with lots of practice or I can simply plateau here and enjoy the art of photography at its most elementary level.

The satisfaction I get out of a really great picture is overwhelming. I see people out at the zoo... on their own... taking close up shots of butterflies and elephants, flowers, crowds of children, corn dogs and giraffe tongues and I want to run up and ask them if I can walk around with them. I want to know what they're thinking to see if they are as obsessed with a great shot as I am!


I think its become quite evident that I want to begin the research and venture out on developing my skills as a photographer... wish me luck!

In the midst of this realization my husband and I spoke. He gave me advice that will forever make me smile... "Krista, start at the Apple store. What a Mac can do to assist a photographer in his or her art is absolutely amazing." ...and he continued to sell me on this vision. I've come to understand this is not out of his own selfish desires to own a Mac but instead out of the deep belief in his heart that Macs rule the earth.

My love, I will make my appointment at the Apple store.

Could be YOUR child's 3rd grade teacher...

Its not even the first day, David.

My dear younger brother is having trouble coming to grips with the fact that just because he was *nursed through elementary school doesn't necessarily mean his life is a depiction of ease and convenience.

He's about to begin his second consecutive year of teaching 3rd graders in Yakima, WA and, if I've heard correctly, he's in high demand. He attempted to withdraw his name from a list of applicants following an interview he had for the aforementioned third grade position due to having already accepted a first grade job elsewhere. Though he desired to continue teaching third grade he felt that the a week's notice prior to school starting might be less than honorable and rethought the idea he had of continuing the 'hunt'.

As he called to withdraw his name it was mentioned that he was in fact the candidate that they were just about to call to OFFER HIM THE JOB. David, finding all of this to be a bit awkward and yet exhilarating (not his choice of words maybe, but that's how I'd feel!) dove right into his concern for quitting his post as a first grade teacher at another school so near the beginning of the year!

It all turned out to be a wonderful opportunity and the details were sorted from there. Consequently though, David and my Mom spent a day this weekend putting his up and coming room o' education together.

Great job, brother. I'm so proud of you.

Please see my creative Mom at work... she constructed the tree above. I've pressed her to write it all down in detail and post it on the intertron but she says I'm just shining her on... I'm not, Mom. In fact, I'd like to hire you to do the kids' playroom... but this time, construct it so they can climb. I know you can, you little sprite of creativity. Who knew!

*Note: David was not nursed through elementary school.

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser

I am one who finds something that works and then no matter what the cost, I stick with it.

*Running as the best form of exercise
*Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
*Eating less calories than I burn
*Lucky Brand jeans
*Jesseca Emerson and I
*Kyle
*3 Day Potty Training
*Pampers through Stage 1, then Huggies
*Folex
*Grocery Game dot com
*Flip-flops
*Never away from home at nap time
*Herbal Essence
*Just In Quesadillas at Red Robin

... and the list goes on.

I have now added:

*Mr. Clean MAGIC ERASER

By the way, it contains MSG. That amazing eraser has cleaned off every mark on my walls to date and I just bought it today.

I have Jesus for my salvation and Mr. Clean for my walls.

Won't you be my neighbor?

Fred Rogers coined the phrase, "won't you be my neighbor?" many years ago. What I love is that the shows we've chosen to turn on for our children during our morning wake-up-slow session has been none other than Mr. Rogers followed by Sesame Street. There are no commercials on KCTS which in turn assists Kyle and I in our attempt to free our children from the inability to pull themselves away from what our culture has labeled as being hip and necessary. We've desired for them to play outside... get out of their comfort zone (don't even talk to me about the recent articles I've seen regarding "how to transition your child to a different preschool")... meet people who, in fact, are different than them... do things that give them energy and provoke creative and imaginative thought... no, I'm not referring to the nouveau way of raising a child but instead the, what I think is supposed to be, normal way of raising a child.

****

It was a moment I'll never forget.

The doorbell rang last week and I opened it to find two boys - the ages of 5 and, I assume, 10. The little boy, Ryan, asked if Katie could play. A smile danced across my face and I almost skipped into the kitchen knowing that Katie would soon discover that wonderful childhood feeling of "wanting to be played with", being beckoned to the front door to go discover something in the neighborhood that hadn't been discovered yet, to go ride bikes until Mom called you in for dinner, to go be kids before you had to return to structure and discipline. This was her first time.

She didn't know what to do at first. She scrambled out of the kitchen to find she arrived at the front stoop shoeless and without a helmet... this isn't going to do, she thought... but what if they leave before I return with my shoes on, she thought... where is my helmet and should I get my bike out first, she asks herself... "WAIT GUYS DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME!" She yells from the front stoop as she flips around and scrambles down the hall to the closet. Her eyes darting every which way without hope of ever accomplishing the task at hand... my heart lept. This was my moment as a Mom to shepherd my child as I've never done before. To teach her that this is only the beginning of great adventures with neighborhood friends.

I got down and calmly took hold of her hands. "Katie, would you like me to get your helmet and bike for you while you put your shoes on?" It was as though I had just roped the moon. Once she was over the elation (for a mere half second, of course) she ran into the closet still yelling every few seconds for the boys to wait for her. She would get one shoe in her hand, run all the way to the front door and cup her hands around her mouth, run back to the closet, find her other shoe, run to the front door and cup her hands around her mouth... on and on it went. It was wonderful to watch.

She rushed down the driveway, helmet on and carefully, but hurriedly, walking her bike. She was off. She spent a couple of hours biking up and down the sidewalk between our house and the boys house about 100 yards away. I casually kept an eye on her and found myself pulling my heart back into my chest a few times... this was harder than I thought.

Yet exactly what I want.

Not above much.

That there is a picture of pizza and poop. (right)

I will usually change my sheets about once a week... if that grosses you out than I will refrain from telling you what I put up with during those seven evenings of sleep. I'll just let you guess...

I nurse in bed... my 4 month old throws up after every feeding... sometimes my daughter crawls into my bed during our afternoon nap and brings with her a cup of what was at one time cold milk and her baggy of crackers trailing crumbs throughout the sheets... I sweat from hormones... Kyle sweats because he sleeps for goodness sake... Ben wets THROUGH his pajamas frequently while snoozing in our bed... there's those "dutch oven" moments when William crawls into our bed to say good morning and its not until I lift the sheet up close to my chin, an ammonia smell wafting up from the depths of my bed, and I realize he's peed the his bed during the night.

Just this morning I awoke to William crying in the hallway for me. It was 6:00am and my body hurt. I was sleep walking as I approached him which, to my credit, was probably why I didn't notice how wet he was from having peed himself. I quietly shepherded him back to his bed and crawled with him under his sheets. It was at that moment I realized the severity of the situation at hand. As I laid there in disgust for a few moments feeling the wetness beneath me I tried to justify what I was about to do... but I couldn't.

So, without any excuse or justification, I will say that I closed my eyes in hopes that the smell of urine wouldn't keep me awake.

We awoke and bathed ourselves though! Can't say that happens everyday.

Boys and Butterflies.

I know, I know. MOST Moms of little boys find their son's creative, focused, gentlemanly, soft-side to be prevalent but undeservedly missed by the observing eye. Due to culture's presumptions that little boys are... well, you know... energetic, unfocused, hyper, kill-kill-kill, "burping out their bum", self proclaimed comedians... we often don't hear about the sweet side of things until one mom is trying to sell another mom on her son's better-than-most tendencies or the Christian mom is head over heels excited about her son's "break through" or God-like characteristics.

I like to think that although my 27 month old son enjoys "shooting people" as of late, we are on the brink of discovering the world's most peace filled and prayerful three year old on the planet. Never mind that just months ago he sat quietly in the midst of the Sunday service only to invent the one and only "blue crock gun". William sat quietly for 45 minutes following the worship time - inflating the pride of his mother and grandmother - and walked away with not life giving wisdom from the Lord but yet another annihilator of a device. He had carefully connected his two crocks together perpendicularly using the "pew pens" that most people use for sacrificial giving/tithe envelopes and had, to his amusement, a device for shooting down those up front making a mockery of "Amazing Grace". To his credit, it was most likely accompanied by a soundtrack and an invisible choir. If I had had my wits about me at the time I would have remembered such an abominable attempt but as I looked down the pew at my 2 year old I only saw what looked to be a well versed hunter scoping his prey waiting for the perfect kill as he looked through his scope.

Today, we entered the Butterfly Exhibit at Woodland Park Zoo. Accompanying our squad o' Scheis was Christelle Perman-Marshall and her three kids along with Rachel Kalous and her two... okay, almost three - due end of November this year. As we walked amongst the music and what was supposed to be "stillness" I watched as William went from being mesmerized by the butterflies to being excited about the butterflies to jumping around flying like the butterflies and climbing up places he wasn't supposed to to wanting to SQUASH the butterflies! This wasn't a mean attempt as much as it was a game! He was smiling and looking up in pride at me every time he was within close range of one on the path! I quickly and quietly tried to maneuver him away from the beautiful creatures but he was not to be swayed. His eyes were fixed on his prey, as beautiful and delicate as they were, and he was determined to catch one if it meant he had to beat it first. I was a little embarrassed as it was undesirable behavior to me - not surprising behavior, just undesirable. Surprisingly though, I found myself refraining from the ear to ear grin as I watched the joy dance across his face! With no reference point from which to leap I simply drew as clear of boundaries as possible and kept a close eye on what was unfolding to be an unbeatable battle. I wanted him to want to just hold them and caress their beautiful wings... I wanted him to smile and walk with a light step as he experienced unthinkable color combinations and unbelievable detail...

He wanted to squash them. I turned around half way through the exhibit to find him tailing a lovely orange butterfly as it flew around him in circles. He held his right foot in place as he spun and attempted to stomp the life out of what his sister and I would consider to be an incredible work of art.

Benjamin is four months old. Two boys at the Butterfly Exhibit will be quite the experience. I'm sure I'll be laughing even harder by then... oh Lord, don't let me forget the joys of this!

I saw Erin Brockovich today.

You know the woman I'm talking about. Or maybe you don't. You don't see them all that often to be honest with you.

As I steadily passed cars while driving in the HOV lane this afternoon I noticed a little Datsun truck in my rear view mirror was gaining on me. I kindly pulled into the fast lane so that s/he could pass me... as she passed, I smiled - with a bit of envy.

Inside the extremely small cab her hair whipped about. The windows were down and her elbow rested on the window so as to catch a little sun. Her 8 year old son sat across the bench from her with a look that said he knew much more about life than any other 8 year old out there... not necessarily bad. Just more. They sped at approximately 75-80 mph, if I were to guess, and they had the world at their fingertips. Swinging from the rear view mirror was a faded "Little Trees" air freshener.

I caught sight of her low cut spaghetti strap tank and her tight shorts... her son was blond and handsome in a young summer boy kind of way.

Oh it was a wonderful moment... one that made my day. I wanted to yell and make sure she knew that she was better than the world gave her credit for. I wanted to go meet her and learn a few things from her as far as life goes. I know she could have taught me a thing or two.

In any case, blessings to the Mom in the little red Datsun truck driving North on I-5 today... you made me smile.

An "ah-ha!" moment...

Just in the past 3 months, Kyle and I have restructured our disciplining style somewhat. One of the most prevalent aspects of this new style comes in the form of physical discipline - spanking. Yes its been used in the past but without seeking God's approval and wisdom but rather as a quick get-to-the-point form of punishment. I have at moments found my anger to be so intense that I feared harming Katie or William but was also stubborn in my approach and felt that I had to "follow through" or else the lesson at hand would be compromised in its effectiveness.

Well, it wasn't until this anger turned into a rage one night that I was quickly aware of the unGodly approach we were choosing to take with our children and their discipline. I knew in my heart of hearts that spanking them wasn't wrong and that there was most definitely a time and a place for it -- we were fine with that. But something was missing and I didn't have any idea of where to start. So we just stopped.

Stopped spanking altogether and tried other approaches.

One night while taking our babysitter home I was enlightened to my daughter's lack of respect for authority. Emily had politely enforced that Katie eat her dinner and Katie suddenly erupted into screaming at Emily that "no! she won't eat her dinner!" She continued with this exceptional behavior throughout the evening. When Kyle and I spoke later that evening I was livid. I couldn't believe that Katie would think that she could scream at Emily like that! I began thinking of "things" to take away from her - privileges to deprive her of - when alas, God opened my eyes. The punishment didn't fit the crime. It was rather arbitrary and was a continuation of the lack of effective discipline she'd been receiving.

I quickly picked up the phone and dialed Amy Baron's number in Bellingham.

This is what wise Amy said,

If this were my daughter, I would go into her room immediately after she wakes up in the morning and explain to her that Emily told me about her behavior the evening before. Because of that behavior she would need to receive a 'discipline on the bottom', ask for my forgiveness, then she will need to call Emily and ask for her forgiveness.

I prepared myself for what could be a 'fight' in the morning when Katie says that 'no, she will not call Emily and ask for her forgiveness'. I asked Amy what she would do in THAT situation.

She responded with such a simple answer,

I would tell her that 'okay, then you will receive another 'discipline on your bottom' for being disobedient to Mom', she would then need to ask my forgiveness for being disobedient to me, and then we would continue on with calling Emily.

It made so much sense! It was all about owning your sinful nature, asking forgiveness from those you've offended, and then restoring the relationship. The gospel message, plain and simple. Our sinful nature... our owning our sinful nature... our asking forgiveness from the only one who can offer forgiveness for our sinful nature... and therefore accept the relationship He has to offer us. We are restored back to our Creator.

****

Well, lately... oh dear heavens. My 3 year old has made me so angry that I actually kept myself physically from her for most of the day last Thursday because of her lack of respect for my authority. She was disobedient and disrespectful. I was in tears -- without her knowing, of course. I didn't know what had happened to my 'heart of gold' child and found myself spiraling into the fear that this was just who she was and that it would be like this for a very long time.

At that moment, I gave up. I gave up on what I had prayed about as far as discipline goes... I gave up on what Kyle and I had agreed on with how we were restructuring our disciplining... I gave up on caring pretty much... I've been lethargic and compliant. And not in a way that creates children after God's own heart.

But to my credit they've been rather well behaved! They've been better listeners... or have they? They've been better at obedience... or have they? Has it seemed so just because I haven't put up the fight? Has it been 'easier' because I've rolled my eyes and chosen to back down from what I know is Godly parenting -- otherwise, extremely hard and time-consuming parenting?

A close friend of mine has mentioned throughout our friendship anytime that we've talked about parenting that she doesn't quite understand why I do things the way that I do them. She says, 'I feel as though I get the same results and I don't spank or inflict any physical punishment on my children' -- we have talked about the difference in how quickly her techniques become effective... not as quickly as mine. But isn't that just the nature of the beast?! When you physically discipline appropriately, you see faster results. Both she and I understood that and were comfortable with it - I, with my physical discipline, and her, with her non-physical discipline.

So lately, as I've watched my children be 'easier to maintain' I've had this unsatisfactory feeling about where their hearts are. I've realized that I'm NOT doing my parenting job by allowing them one... two... THREE warnings before they obey. No! I am failing my children miserably when I allow them to be disobedient even once! When they disobey they are outside the realm of God's blessing! When there is a warning enacted, there is an intentional decision as a parent to let them to live in the luke-warm! So 'no warnings?', you ask. Correct! Why would we allow our children to live for that nanosecond of time outside of the realm of God's blessing? Its not THAT moment that matters for that moment has come and gone... its the next moment immediately before a warning is given. The child has disobeyed their authority knowingly and they are sitting in the midst of the luke-warm. It is our job to keep them from folly! To raise them in a way that teaches them the authority of God and all He asks of us as His creation.

Tonight I will pray for the ability to parent in such a way that God's glory is brought to the forefront of every decision my children make. Please don't laugh or shake your head... it IS possible and I know that God has asked us, as assignees raising up HIS children, to show them that it is His glory that matters. The children get it... more than we do sometimes.

So here I am... once again. Realizing that 'the rod' is necessary in Kyle and I's parenting. And its necessary immediately. To maintain it is hard in the beginning but it then plateaus and eventually its few and far between. You have kids who hear the gospel message even in the midst of correction -- especially in the midst of correction. To enforce 'the rod' without following it up with wisdom and teaching can't be Godly and I can imagine why so many parents in our day and age are shying away from it. The rod is used to render a child's heart humble and ready to hear 'life giving words', as mentioned in Tripp's book Shepherding a Child's Heart.

Unbridled anticipation

Remember when you were little and the "countdown" was always Christmas day... it was rare that I counted down to my BIRTHDAY although I always knew that it was "next week" or in a "couple of days", etc.

The one thing that I always counted down to was our family's trip to Lincoln City, Oregon. I think that was so important to me because it wasn't often that my Dad had one ENTIRE week off of work where he didn't have to go anywhere (most exciting thing!)... it wasn't often that we got to see the ocean... it wasn't often that Mom and Dad took off to take "romantic walks" although their PDA has never been lacking... it wasn't often that we got to eat crab without stopping... it wasn't often that our entire family - extended as well - sat and hung out doing who-knows-what for seven days straight... and it wasn't often that we got to hang out with Grandpa and Grandma Berges for a lengthy period of time -- so lengthy that their bickering began to wear on you just as you were packing up to leave...

In ten days we will embark on our annual trip to the Oregon Coast. We have done this for years... ever since I was in Elementary School! You know, when Angie and I were best of friends and Geoff usually hung out with Kevin Johnson. David's best friend, Nick Nunamaker, was always around and we spent ample amounts of time at Julie Moyer's house swimming except when she and I were fighting... in fact, it was around that time in my life when I learned what it meant to "turn the other cheek" and so as Julie walked off the bus I told her I would pray for her! More specifically that I would "pray for her heart to be warmer". I still remember the moment when she looked at me like I was the scum on the bottom of her oh-so-cool turquoise with pink rubber Keds. She and I both had mullets... she didn't have that much on me.

So here it is again. Our anticipated week before the week before the week at the beach. During this particular week I usually make all of the unnecessary lists that are simply my "venting" of excited energy. I don't need to make these lists... much like when someone puts something on their list that they've already done just so they can cross it off... it feels just as nauseatingly Type A as that does but with a bit more fruitfulness. I will use these lists but I won't actually attempt to DO anything with them until about Thursday night before the Saturday that we leave - which is 5 days from now.

... I'm getting so tired I'm going to publish this post without finishing any of my thoughts. So here you have it. I can't wait for next week!

Our visit to "the Island"

Thank you Grandpa and Grandma Schei for our wonderful visit to your house...

We loved eating breakfast on the deck and discussing politics such as whether or not Spiderman and Batman will ever unite forces and if Barbie should be a "girls only" toy...


We loved being silly and laughing together...


We loved helping you plant the oh-so-important bushes...

And Benjamin loved his very first swim...


And in fact, he was exhausted and lounged in the sun while he caught some shut eye...

Thank you for all of the fun we had... we love you both sooooo much...

4th of July 2008 - Schei and O'Shea

We spent the day celebrating our independence with the O'Sheas at their house in Snohomish. The men and children waded down the river 50 yds to "Rock Island" located in the middle of the Pilchuck River. Kyle and Andy spent a good hour building a rock wall in hopes of creating the perfect swimming hole for the kids amidst the gentle rapids. Michelle and I sat on their patio discussing our life, the liberty that some peoples' children take to just speak their mind regardless of how young and inexperienced they are, and the pursuit of happiness - in other words, getting through the next 7 months until Benjamin walks and can be somewhat independent of me or in Michelle's case, telling off those few 9 year olds who have lost all social tact, consequently causing hurt feelings in hopes of boosting their own ego... yes, I encouraged this immature behavior in Michelle. When you spend most of the day embracing the lives of your children and all they encounter, sometimes you find yourself punching a 5 year old in the face in order to release the aggression you've had pent up since that one girl in middle school kissed your boyfriend behind the portables.

You never completely heal from those things.

After emerging from the river one by one, the children sunk into the hot tub. The big kids worked on large feats such as holding their breath under water while William stood on the sidelines shooting every head that popped up with his first ever water gun. It was so fun to watch.






















For dinner we barbecued steaks, hot dogs and hamburgers. Devoured a large bowl of freshly picked strawberries and helped ourselves to one, if not two, helpings of dessert. The kids entertained themselves for a couple more hours while the adults sat and enjoyed each others' company outside. Ben, of course, either standing atop someone's legs doing his best impression of a bobblehead or attached to my breast.

I really can't wait until he walks.

The game plan for the evening was to stay put until dusk arrived, caravan up to Marysville and witness the Everett fireworks display. A client of Andy's invited us to take up residence for the evening in their vacant million-dollar home overlooking the bay. Once we arrived, the men and children, once again, took off for the water while Michelle and I sat and chatted. It was at that moment that I turned around with a look of confusion as I heard the faint sounds of patriotic music spilling from the kitchen window out onto the patio. I looked at Michelle and asked, "did you bring your own music?" She had. So there we were. Like a couple of old ladies sitting side by side and embracing the joys and pains of our country's history in silence. But then I couldn't stop laughing and shaking my head at the two of us. I'd regain my composure, pay respect to the moment and then fall into laughter again. I believe I cried I was grinning so hard. It was an awesome moment. While the music played we pulled our blankets up to our chins and prepared ourselves for the return of the men and children up from the water. The evening had only begun.


It was from there that we watched thousands of fireworks throughout the evening. Kids were up until after 11pm - something we've never done before. Seriously. But there was so much joy to be had as we sat sprawled out on the lawn looking up at the sky and laughing with our friends.
Its gonna be hard to top this year's 4th, that's for sure.

Adverse effects

I can try with all my might to look as though I don't have extra skin hanging around my mid-section. I CAN fit into my old jeans but that's not to say I would ever in my life again wear my old jeans and a bikini top - which at one time in my life I know I thought was a sexy outfit. Nope. In fact, if you were to see me in my jeans without a top on your eyes would be drawn to the raisin-esque skin that now has taken up residence in the most precarious spots. No matter how much effort I put into fitting that loose skin neatly into the top of my jeans so as to look flat, I can't seem to make it magically disappear.

This is not unlike the physics law that says something to the tune of not being able to create mass out of nothing nor is one able to make mass become "non-existent" - whatever that law is. Same as when you try to eat an overstuffed sandwich neatly or try to bite into the Skinny Cow without spilling ice cream out the backside. A Smore is another GREAT example. When trying our darndest to control something that is uncontrollable in nature our efforts are in vain.

Which brings me to my point.

July 1st was a day of great distress as I realized I couldn't hold my phone anymore while driving. I know, I know. Some of you are saying its a "secondary offense"! But what CAN'T an officer pull you over for in order to say, "oh, and by the way Mam, you had your cell phone up to your ear and that's illegal too"... So, just yesterday my husband taught me how to use my first ever blue tooth headset.

Oh man. Like I said, our efforts are in vain when we try to control the uncontrollable. Doesn't anyone out there helping to create these laws know that if a Mom has her hand occupied by holding a phone up to her ear at least she's limited in what she can do while talking on the phone. The stuff that I pulled off yesterday WHILE talking to my brother on the phone would have boiled any safety expert's blood. They would have been baffled in fact. What they tried to control was my the attention that I divert from the road when I'm holding my phone up to my ear. What they didn't realize is that I can now drive with my left hand, hold a pacifier in my son's mouth, look in the rear view mirror at the comical faces of my 2 and 3 year old in the backseat WHILST talking on the phone. All the while feeling a bit out of sorts because it takes extra effort for me to figure out how to HANG UP... CALL... etc.

The skin cascades over the top of my snug-fitting Lucky jeans every time I sit down, the mustard and mayo combo squeezes out the backside of my sandwich despite careful manipulation, the ice cream inevitably drips on my recently mopped floor and my ability to multi-task while driving has grown exponentially.

Thank you to those who are always trying to save me from my own self. Better said, my own stupidity.

Good luck to you.

Creating Moments

Its rather plastic to think about "creating moments" because 'moments' should just happen. But I've found as a Mom that the more you try to create them the more extraordinary moments you have. Making the effort to bring together the unlikely scenario in hopes of experiencing something extraordinary rarely fails to deliver.

Today, in spite of the thunder, lightning and unpredictable rainfall I took the kids to feed the ducks down at Silver Lake. I sported the Moby Wrap with Benjamin fit snugly inside while Katie and William wore their rain-gear and crocks. We had stopped at Central Market to purchase some hot dog buns and made our way down to the water.

We were alone. Surprise.

I believe even the ducks made us feel stupid. Their hesitant approach suggested that nobody would be there to feed them with a rationale mindset and instead we were there to skin them illegally and take them home for dinner. I took a deep breath and said, "c'mon you stupid poultry just create some memories and give me the benefit of the doubt for god's sakes." They did! I've never seen the kids so close to the ducks before! We unloaded 8 hot dog buns in less than 5 minutes and the kids didn't want to leave.

Don't give me too much credit (and maybe you're not), realize that on the way from Central Market to the park I considered going straight home and apologizing to the kids that the weather made it "impossible" for us to feed the ducks. But I knew that was BS. I knew that in the Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter there could exist any number of reasons NOT to do something and instead I wanted to find a reason TO do something. We would survive... and the kids would enjoy it. And oh wow, I enjoyed it too! Shocking.

Of course I enjoyed it! The fresh air. The rain. My kids. The silence away from society because they were all indoors at the moment - rationally so.

We had a wonderful time. And for a moment, I just encourage you to think outside your box and allow yourself to get soaked. You'll love it! So what if it takes you 15 minutes to exit the vehicle considering all the preparation involved! So what if your van gets wet! So what if your kids ride home naked! So what if you have an extra load of laundry!

The kids will sleep better and so will you.

Last night in Seattle

Early this morning I woke to lightning illuminating Kyle and I's bedroom followed by the inevitable boom of thunder. The thunder was awesome. It was the kind of thunder that surprises you because it makes your bones jitter inside your body. The first crack sounds and then it only escalates. Each time there's some unfounded anxiety that it will escalate to a point that it... I don't know! That's what creates the anxiety! Will it... wake the kids? knock you over? make the ground explode? break a window? fall on you? I don't understand it but for some millisecond of time anxiety is created and then it is gone and what's left is exhilaration. At least for me. I love this stuff.

Before going to bed, whilst locking up the house, I witnessed eery flickers of light down the hallway, up the staircase, in the entryway... finally it occurred to me that it was coming from outside. I beckoned Kyle to the front stoop and there I sat curled forward between his legs with his arms wrapped around me and his chin resting on my shoulder. With wonder I waited... anticipating that there'd be another flash coming soon. I wanted to wake the kids and experience it with them in hopes that they would find it as breathtaking as I did. But I wouldn't dare. I felt like I was dating again, unfortunately for Kyle, without the temptation to go upstairs and make out. I was so tired.