Oh-so-not-awesome anymore...

On Wednesday nights we have a recurring group of couples and kids that meet together and enjoy some wonderful food, easy conversation and intentional prayer - this is known as a Small Group. Our Small Group meets at the oh-so-lovely casa de Kalous where you walk in and immediately feel welcome... you WANT to take your shoes off, mingle around the kitchen island, munch on something wonderful that Rachel (Martha) has cooked up oh-so-easily (aka "thrown together") and enjoy the luxurious feeling of the vaulted ceilings, granite counter tops and beautifully chosen colors across the great room walls that compliment each other oh-so-well... by the way, Rachel is a Graphics Design Artist. Her house is her empty canvas... (puke, I can't believe I just said that.)

This evening as I plopped down on the floor to change my 7 week old son's diaper I realized I should probably do an outfit change as well due to the ungodly amount of spit up and stains that adorned his current outfit. I clumsily gathered my limbs underneath me and cautiously stood up -- don't know what it is but I still find myself physically acting as though I'm 9 months pregnant, hence the "gathering my limbs underneath me..." part. I walked the 10 steps over to my 10 lb. "purse" and begin digging through it when I lifted my head to a quite disturbing smell. I discretely walked around after retrieving my son's outfit from the abyss and sniffed doorways... areas of the room... trying to track down the source of the scent. It still "lingered" and I couldn't figure it out. I finally rested on the conclusion that it couldn't be anything other than "wetness-turning-to-mildew" wafting from the laundry room just beyond where my purse was sitting. A little disturbed, I traipsed back to Benjamin lying on the floor and sat down in front of him. As I shifted him, so as to change him with the most ease, I mentioned something about "the smell" to Kristen - another woman in our group. As she walked over she smelled the same smell coming from the same part of the house.

Now was the moment, when I knew something was amiss amongst the beauty and I should really tell Rachel... but I wouldn't want her to think that I thought she'd be so careless as to leave a load of laundry in the dryer if it wasn't true! And I'd really rather her find out on her own - thinking that nobody else knew (because that's how I would feel) - if it WAS true! It was the mildew-y smell I was smelling... I was fairly certain. (By the way Rachel would kill me if I mentioned to her that her house breathed perfection to me because we've known each other long enough that our "secrets" have been shared for the most part and I should know better... but she really does have incredible taste and a phenomenal sense of organization and put-togethered-ness.) As I opened my mouth and mentioned it to her I smelled the smell again. She was surprisingly excited that I mentioned "the smell" as she quickly walked over to her couch and pulled from it one of the throw pillows. "I've been telling Jeremy that something smells 'off' here... " and she hands me the pillow to smell. "Its not these throw pillows as much, I don't think, as the couch itself. I think it smells weird! Tell me if its the couch!" I was relieved to find that it might not be the mildew in the laundry room but perhaps the couch -- completely out of her control!

Its NOT the couch... and I cautiously mention that it almost smells like that "wet too long" smell and she simply says "like mildew" and I say, as though its all coming together right at that moment for me, "yeah... like mildew..." She squints while she's thinking and mentions that she doesn't have anything in the washing machine... and then it hits me.

SMELL YOUR SON'S CLOTHES.

I did. And they wreaked of mildew.

The scent must have exploded out of my bag due to being under pressure for so long and lingered long enough that Kristen smelled it too when she walked close to my bag. The clothes aired out somewhat by the time I got back to Benjamin on the floor and then it was all mysterious.

In a single moment a secret of mine was revealed: I hate that I so often forget about the load of laundry in the washer and have to re-wash it... it is embarrassing and I would NEVER want anyone to think that it was a recurring problem of mine! So much so that I couldn't bring it up to Rachel even though she could probably care less if somebody "caught her in the act".

I was feeling oh-so-not-awesome anymore... but just to prove my confidence and lack of insecurity in myself and my ability to make a home I threw that filthy pair of pajamas to everyone in the room so they could smell and we could all have a good laugh...

Oh-so-not-awesome anymore...

What a perfect moment...

This morning Katie and William were instructed to stay within the confines of the Master Bath/Bedroom area in order that I may bathe for the first time this week. They do a great job given a little freedom even if its only 150 square feet of freedom.

Upon drying off, squeegeeing the shower door and popping Benjamin's binkie back in his mouth I was curiously drawn to the increasingly deafening music coming from beyond my bathroom door... as I opened it and peeked into the room Katie was wearing an elegant gown of Mom's lace-trimmed shirts and William was wearing his Spiderman pajamas... they were awkwardly dancing - mixing dance moves like "the twist" with a side gallop, none-the-less, a little head banging and gyrations of the hips and booty... they are TOTALLY enveloped in the blaring music and the song was "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood (see lyrics below). It was blaring and I started crying and laughing at the same time because the moment was so... AWESOME. I simply stood in my doorway because I couldn't pull myself from the scene! It was so good. William continued to run over to the radio and turn the volume up a little more... he did this about 4 times during the song because I'm sure the pureness of the '80s was capturing his every sense. He couldn't get enough! He danced like a madman around the room - arms up and down, gallops and some sort of break dancing... the song just "oozed" with energy and in that William figured which "moves" were most appropriate for the moment... as did little Miss Cindy Lauper... off-the-shoulder layered bright shirts.

Remember the joy of the '80s... coincidently, the lyrics are perfect for such a moment:

HIGHER LOVE
Steve Winwood

Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, Ill look inside mine
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Wheres that higher love I keep thinking of?

Worlds are turning and were just hanging on
Facing our fear and standing out there alone
A yearning, and its real to me
There must be someone whos feeling for me
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Wheres that higher love I keep thinking of?

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring be a higher love
I could rise above on a higher love

I will wait for it
Im not too late for it
Until then, Ill sing my song
To cheer the night along
Bring it...oh bring it...

I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Wheres that higher love I keep thinking of?

Our Sunny Seattle Weekend

Going to the Woodland Park Zoo... Washing cars... getting my planter garden started... grilling just because it feels good to grill in the heat of the sunshine... and then grilling some more with good friends like Luke, Jesseca, Riley and Regan Emerson... learning to pee outside... but unfortunately only if you're a boy (Katie didn't take that so well)... swimming in the blow-up frog swimming pool and mowing the lawn with our new Reel Mower...

Becoming a little "man"

After dropping Katie off at pre-school on Monday I had a handful of errands to run. Please remember I have a newly potty trained 25 month old in the car - until then we had had no accidents since the second day of potty training (except nighttime wetness) so I knew my odds of him having a sudden "urge" that couldn't be held was quite low. Needless to say, I LOVE that I have a newly potty trained kid that I can take out in public only 1 week after beginning his training... please read my previous potty training blog if you are wondering what method I used.

*****

Walking into the Mill Creek US post office I knew was a risk seeing as I've never had to use their restroom but I wasn't overly concerned. I walked proudly in - large package in hand and a stack of letters that held family photos I wanted to share with relatives. William held my other hand and Ben was comfortably sleeping in the Baby Bjorn. William brought with him a bouncy ball to keep himself occupied while I stood staring off into space while every once in awhile shifting my gaze from Ben and kissing his sweet face to staring at William and ruffling his hair reminding him gently to tell me if he has to go potty to...

"Mommy. I have to go pot-tee." He said it so matter-of-factly and in such a calm manner that it didn't quite sink in. I stared at him for a moment before repeating what he said. By that time he was already preoccupied running his grimy fingers across the front of the stamp display case and looking down at his feet as he stepped one foot in front of the other... he looked up when he heard me and said "yes" while looking at me expectantly. I wanted to say "Well! What do you WANT ME TO DO?! There's no restroom at the post office! You know that!" but biting my tongue and taking a deep breathe I quickly glanced from one end of the office to the other - nothing. No little black silhouettes of man/women signage, no promising doors that looked like they might lead to "you know where" even though its not meant to be used by the public - nothing. I glanced at the individuals who were glancing at me -- I'm not stupid. I could tell that they were, with all due respect, preying on this poor mother of two small children to be their "pick me up" during the lunchtime hour away from their mundane job. I know they were anxious to see what my course of action would be -- I defied all odds and was able to stay calm. I politely excused myself from the line and made my way outside, across the parking lot and into the van.

Now I know that the entire post office is one large window and I could feel the sympathy stares while I got in the van of all those people with nothing better to do while they stood in line. I left thinking out loud to myself and half instilling confidence in William that we'll "go find a place to go potty" - to my credit I never promised a toilet. We hopped in the van and as I began unplugging Ben from the Bjorn and telling William to jump in his seat I saw it... my Starbucks coffee cup. It was half full with my coffee but my time here at the post office was worth more than $1.50. I opened the door... poured the coffee out and with a deep breath began to explain to my son what was about to happen. He was about to become a little "more of a man". I pulled down his pants while he asked "Mommy what are you doing?" with a curious look on his face. I put the cup up to his little peep and said, "okay honey, go pee." He did. He wanted to do it again. He loved it. Of course he did. I smiled at myself and chuckled as I put the top on. We proudly pulled William's pants up, opened the side van door and backed out of the van. I stepped onto the pavement and held out my hand for William - of which he politely refused because he wanted to get out himself. As I grabbed the coffee cup I paused... I knew the stares were heavier now. Maybe they were all standing at the window making bets on me! Maybe they've gotten to know each other so well by now - coats off, shirts untucked, ties loosened. This had become the highlight of their day! There were probably those that thought I would freak out and they would see flame ignite from the inside of the van... maybe someone thought I would pull out in such a frenzy that I'd hit the Bentley parked across from me... or better yet, the police car! Maybe someone thought I would cry in my front seat without any solution for my little boy and become a victim to the complexities of motherhood. But NO ONE could have placed their money on me giving up my jo for my little boy! No one could have seen that coming. I hadn't!

Again, I walked proudly in - large package sandwiched in between my upper arm and body while I held a stack of letters that held family photos I wanted to share with relatives. I had a pincher grasp on a warm cup o' jo from Starbucks. William held my other hand and Ben was comfortably sleeping in the Baby Bjorn. William brought with him a bouncy ball to keep himself occupied...

I confidently dropped the cup of coffee to the bottom of the trash can with a THUD as people looked on. I smiled and nodded as I stepped back into line.

Discipline is Love

The book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp has been revolutionary to me. Kyle and I's discipline of the kids has changed so dramatically -- not in our expectations of them but in our motivation. I've always told people that I want "children who are a joy to be around" which hasn't lost any luster for sure... but I'd rather that good behavior come from a heart that is ready to please his/her Maker before it's ready to please his/her Mom and Dad. I want them to be within the realm of blessing from the Lord and in their disobedience to their Heavenly Father they're missing out on that... it is my job, as they are so young, to keep them in the throws of God's blessing.

Today I caught myself hesitating before going upstairs to "spank" our 25 month old for grunting and burying his face in a pillow when I asked him to go put his pajamas on. He was being disobedient which required the appropriate correction. I have been questioned by family and friends in my husband and I's tactics as of late. The thought is that different behavior should require different discipline -- we agree wholeheartedly. The "behavior of disobedience" in our house requires strict and unwavering "disciplines on the bottom" (aka, spanks). Disobedience of the heart is sour in the Lord's eyes whether the behavior is not picking up your toys the first time asked or hitting someone when you know its wrong. Now the correction is a "discipline on the bottom" in our family whereas the consequence is a lengthier sentence.

For example, Katie was defiant in laying down and staying quiet in her bed this evening. She, in the least, received 5-10 "disciplines on her bottom" for the individual acts of disobedience. In that process, I (or Kyle) brought her into our room, swatted her on the bum with a spoon and then sympathized with her tears - it sucks to get disciplines but Mom and Dad are only acting in obedience to God as we are to discipline our children - then we revisit the "why" of the discipline, she has to apologize specifically for being "disobedient" and then Mom (or Dad) forgives. In short, the Gospel message. Its amazing to watch the softening of the heart in my children as we progress through these "steps".

After the first few disciplines, Katie decided she was still angry enough that she would continue the behavior of shouting and disturbing the household with her "unpleasantness". I calmly explained to her that she would receive "discipline on her bottom" this evening but she would also risk the chance of having girlfriends over this week for a "planting party" because she needed her sleep and the party would require missing nap time. If she wasn't going to get it now, she would need it then. She was broken-hearted, and justifiably so, yet still willing to be selfish in her behavior.

Isn't that how we are?

A girl chooses to disobey her parental authority at the age of 16 - she drinks and drives and pays the consequence of having a DUI on her record for years. A girl chooses to have a sexual relationship at a young age... the reprimand from the Lord is gracious and she walks away with scars that are only emotionally permanent. She confesses and repents of her sin (a sin is a sin is a sin, remember) and she moves on from there. Our mindset of putting our child in "time out" for one minor act and "spanking" for a more serious act doesn't seem to coincide with the hand of God, does it?

The act of disobedience of the heart deserves the same correction, repentance and forgiveness no matter what the behavior and we may be incredibly surprised by the outcome seeing as our behavior was "so much worse" or "not as bad" as the next guy... but God is to judge the heart. If I know my child is having a heart of disobedience than I treat it accordingly... God's Will for my child will span from there.

Benjamin Berges Schei - 4+ weeks

3 Day Potty Training with Lora Jensen (and William McCormick)

Today is Day #3 of Potty Training. During my "quiet time" this morning I prayed specifically that today would be the day that it "clicks" with William. It did. We have had NO accidents... we have pooped in the potty TWICE and I've even been interrupted during a tension-filled phone conversation I was having with a dear friend with William wimpering loudly "mommy I want to go potty!" (tension-filled because I was FOCUSING on William the whole time and repeating every so often "tell Mommy when you need to go potty" over the mouth piece of the phone) His big sister is SOOOO proud of him - probably because every time he goes SHE also gets M and M candies to eat... just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Things are going well. If anyone needs advice on potty training don't come to me just go buy the ebook by Lora Jensen and be encouraged that your little one will be done with diapers in 3 days from now!

Lounging

Probably watching George or Clifford -- something educational...

Thank you Aunt Kendall, Uncle Jim and Great Grandma McCormick for our new shirts!

The Schei children...

Catherine Elizabeth, 3 years, William McCormick, 2 years, and Benjamin Berges, 5 days. Wow... we have 3...

The Boys

William McCormick, age 2, and Benjamin Berges, 5 days.

He is here

Benjamin Berges Schei was born at 12:52 pm. Weighing in at 8 pounds 14 ounces and 'standing' 20.5 inches tall. He has a calm demeanor and is very alert. He started working his eyes open right away and is now looking everyone in the face and mimicking our expressions.

Krista is feeling great. Ben was out in 4 'pushes' and delivery happened without any surprises. We will be in the hospital for 24 hours and then released to go home.

Ben got a 9/9 on his APGAR... I think he is going to ace his hearing test, too. He follows me with his eyes when I am talking. We covet your prayers and can't wait to introduce Benjamin to his family and friends.

A very timely family

After today, we will be 3 for 3 in natural births that arrive on their due date.

Krista and I are at the hospital now for the birth of our third child. Labor began this morning at 2am. We arrived at the birthing center at 6:45am 4 cm dilated and Krista in nearly unbearable pain with each contraction. Bay 8:30 am she was 7 cm and much more comfortable with a epidural. Big ups to the anesthesiology doc! He was fast, did a great job, and really was comforting.

Now we are waiting for the water to break to get things going. Our little buddy should be here in no time. More information to come...

Nouveau Mom

Nouveau (adj) : new and different, often fashionably so
Mom (noun): me, for example

Nouveau Mom: not me, for example...

Just yesterday I was unknowingly watching an episode of TMZ - sometimes channels just come across my screen for 50 minutes and I can't seem to change the channel if my life depended on it! Weird, I know. In any case, Kerri Russell was strutting her Nouveau Hollywood Mom-ness amongst the crowds of the "lower lifes", chatting it up with the co-op checker, than piling she and her reusable grocery bags full of organic foods into her Toyota Prius... SHE, for example, is nouveau and I realized that I am NOT nouveau... although a large part of me wishes I was. But I wouldn't want to work at it. I would just want it to be natural for me... and its not.

For example, I wish I could NATURALLY be excited about these things: no TV, no cable, no internet, no processed foods or preservatives, no plastic toys - only wooden and sold in small boutique shops, organic cotton clothing and reusable diapers such as Fuzzy Buns, exclusively breast milk and no drinking or soft cheeses during pregnancy, artistic dance classes that teach my child flexibility and coordination...

But instead I'm excited about these things: TV - LCD and HD, to be exact, cable where Curious George teaches my children to speak "monkey" and Maya and Miguel teaches them to speak Spanish, and how would I process thoughts without being able to get online and blog, "meals in a box" and other processed foods, preservatives and although I'm not excited about plastic toys I have nothing against them, organic clothing is expensive and hard to find and though reusable diapers could be my contribution to the "green" movement they sure take a lot more work and not to mention the stains that I would never be able to get out so why not poop and throw, when do I leave the house without my newborn or needing the forethought to pull the frozen pumped breast milk from the freezer, Italian babies are beautiful and a glass of red wine is nutritional, and last but not least, my children wrestle all the time as well as have taken rolls down the stairs, head dives off the couch and other awfully painful landings and I honestly believe they're better off than any of those kids I see dancing and stretching on Sesame Street. With a couple black eyes, broken teeth and welts, they walk straighter and are more careful with their bodies than any nouveau children I've seen... you should see them body slam each other - there is so much thought put into how and when to let go. Its quite impressive.

So, in short, I do wish I was excited about being "nouveau" -- but I'm not. I guess I just don't care as much as some... about a lot of things. But I care a lot about a few things... and that's where I put all my energy. My children's love for the Lord, my close circle of girlfriends, time away with my husband and the time to be at home as a family... I'll toast an Eggo or whip up a box of Macaroni and Cheese if it means I get to invest in what matters to me.

Cheers to all you nouveau and non-nouveau Moms out there -- I hope you love what you do.

What are the odds...

I had a good friend make the comment one time, "You're not THAT great! Stop having kids!" about people who have too many children of their own. Now based on his convictions he was speaking of anyone who had more than 2 children and then chose to have more biologically as opposed to adopting...

So when Kyle and I decided to have another baby after our 2nd had turned a year, I thought back to that comment... and I thought to myself "am I really arrogant and conceited enough to think that its a BETTER idea to populate the world with more Schei children as opposed to consider adopting?" I can't really say, truthfully, because I didn't give it much more thought... but I can guarantee you that if this next one comes out making me smile the way these two do than I will consider doing it again... and again...

He is risen!

Today, Christ is free from death.
Today, Earth will be a new creation.
Today, I am free from a life of my own sin.

So, what is your image of freedom? I myself like to think of the taking the family on the open road. Happy Easter!

Harold the Spider

We've been moved now for over a month but I just ran across this photo that I took while organizing all our closets in the old house... Harold had been living behind a pile of Kyle's jeans in our closet for close to two years, according to Harold that is. We made great conversation after getting used to each other... he was around until Kyle arrived home from work that evening - all 3x3 inches of him.

Everything new...

Sometimes I wake up wishing I had just been dreaming... and in all actuality, I'm in my old 1200 square foot rambler with all my old "issues" such as picking up after the dogs or walking into a packed and unorganized garage sans my van because that's what garages are for, right? or wishing that my trim was all finished and the nail holes weren't still waiting to be puttied or even dealing with the annoyance of the 40 year old burn marks on my fantastic 60s era counter top... sometimes I wake up wishing that I could go back in time and not have to learn anything new.

Right now I'm learning how to clean granite counter tops, take out stains from lovely cream colored carpets, look at the FIRST ever oily hand mark on a freshly painted wall (emotionally exhausting for a perfectionist), walk up a flight of stairs only to realize that what you came up for is still sitting on the kitchen counter so I stay just long enough to justify the trek- fold some clothes in the dryer... make a bed... tidy the playroom... use the restroom, etc. I think I've just uncovered the answer as to why my upstairs is often so tidy. Yep, I'm constantly learning new things...

Right now I'm learning that my 3 and a half year old daughter is something to tame and my son of almost 2 years is one of the funniest individuals I've ever met... I'm learning that although I'm currently 9 months pregnant with 2 children I'm already excited to be 9 months pregnant with 3! ... I'm learning that I'm almost 30 and I still feel like I just graduated high school... I'm learning that it hurts to not get second glances from high school boys who drive too fast and are completely unaware of life outside their... bodies. I'm learning that I shouldn't have driven as fast as I did past a Mom and her kids when I was in high school... I'm learning that I'm becoming more and more attracted to my husband and it has less and less to do with his physical good looks and more to do with the fact that we love life in the same way... I'm learning that picking up babysitters makes you feel old and when you're taking her home you want her to think you're really hip and young and just when you feel good you're dropping her off and handing her the money you owe her... I'm learning that all these new things are just part of the adventure of this life and the adventure is well worth it...

I'm learning that I'm being built more and more in the character of God and all the things that mattered in the past are slowing and I'm finding the things that will last...

- clean walls won't last...
- when I'm 40 I can guarantee I'll just be a Mom to some high school boy's friend...
- when my 3 and a half year old is 40 hopefully she'll be less dramatic and have a family of her own to learn from...
- soon my body will go south and Kyle will still think I'm beautiful for reasons that haven't fully developed yet!

... and some day I'll be able to blog until I'm not able to think of anything more to say... but as for right now I need to go tend to my children before they eat through one of my nice new walls in a fit of impatience for my attention.

It feels good to blog again... its "old hat" to me.

Thrill-Ya!

	We took the family to Starbucks while our house is being shown. Bagels and cream cheese for all.

Fire Drill!

We have to do a drill before we get started. Loud bell. Lots of orange vests.
Kyle M. Schei

Mortgage Consultant | GFG Mortgage | gfgmortgage.com
Office: 425.374.5062 | Mobile: 425.359.1740 | Fax: 425.609.0067