"Thanks me old mucker..."

To say "me old mucker" means my old friend. To muck about is to mess about. When you hang out and mess around that is to muck about and you do this with friends.

My Easter was spent with an incredible group of people. My best friend in high school was Jamie Hopkins. She went off to UPS in Tacoma, WA, and met the wonderful Brad Forbes. Her parents, Gary and Judy Hopkins (see photo left) were the Young Life Area Directors in the Tri-Cities and also spent this Easter with us! Well, Jamie Hopkins is now Jamie Forbes, a Mom of two young boys, Aiden and Oliver (Ollie) and living in the exotic London, England... (tongue in cheek - as she's laughed at peoples' perceptions of them whilst they've been here visiting).

Brad, Jamie, Aiden (3) and Oliver (1) flew over from London to visit family, spend Easter and 'check in' with the headquarters of Russell Investments in Tacoma WA (Jamie's current office is in Picadilly Circus, London - see photo) which is the company Jamie works for abroad. We felt so privileged that they chose to spend the Easter weekend with Kyle, myself and the kids - we vegged out, sipped glorious wine, watched golf, lost ourselves in wonderful conversations, celebrated Jamie's 30th birthday, shopped at Nordstrom where I became envious of Jamie's post-pregnancy physique - absolutely beautiful! - and slept under one roof for two nights in a row... it made my heart SWELL. It was wonderful and more so than I was anticipating even.

It has been a weekend of laughing about the things that never change... such as grey, GAP zip-up hoodies and white v-neck GAP t-shirts... GAP jeans and how easily cheer chants come to us after 12 years of being 'away'. I'm not necessarily advocating the 'cheer mentality' BUT I'm also not ashamed of that year in my life -- go Kamiakin Braves! **The following pictures are for Jamie -- I thought she'd get a kick out of them -- these are not for the rest of you. They do not know how Kanye got one of our lettermans jackets... funny, eh?**


We spoke of Maggie Sinclair - now Maggie Lynch, whose birthday is only weeks away. The moments the three of us girls spent together laughing and enjoying life. We were inseparable and to this day enjoy the moments we have to reconnect. Maggie is in Eastern Washington... I'm in Western Wasington... and its 'just like Jamie' to live in London, England. Not to mention, God just called her parents back to the states after four years of serving Him in Malawi, Africa. Aaaahh... the fun calls God puts on our lives. Isn't it fun to see common threads woven through families when it comes to His calling?? Jamie's sister in now in Malawi with her husband and I've yet to hear when they plan on returning to the states, if ever!


Brad, Jamie, Aiden and Oliver, Gary and Judy... thank you for celebrating this last weekend with us. You were each a breath of fresh air and I will remember Easter 2009 for the rest of my life as the Easter we partied with 'me old muckers'.

Benjamin Berges is Walking!

I have DREAMED of the day when my children will no longer NEED to be carried... living in Seattle does not make the crawling stage much fun as everything outside is consistently wet or muddy from the recent rain or perpetual mist.

Great job, my boy. You make a mama happy.

Today's favorite moments...

Runner-ups...

- shopping the 7th Avenue Fresh Produce (open air) Market today. There's something WONDERFUL about buying all my produce so fresh... and the kids ALWAYS choose a honey stick as we're checking out... its become a tradition.

- running into (literally and intentionally) Michelle O'Shea at Costco. I was hoping to catch her screaming expletives moments before her realization that it was me... but she was much too kind. THEN she realized it was me... and then expletives flew.

- all the wonderfully mannered people from street to store today. It was so pleasant in spite of the rain! People were quick to lend a hand, quick to let me into traffic with a smile and a nod, quick to smile at my children and wave, quick to wish the kids and I a 'Happy Easter!'... it was wonderful. People were patient and unhurried today wherever I found myself.

- my time with the Katie and William as we read the crucifixion story (most recent blog) and talked of the details of how painful it was but WHY He did what He did.

- Katie's prayer after we read the crucifixion story. She thanked Jesus for dieing on the cross to save us; she thanked him for being so brave; she thanked him for doing what he did because 'we want to see him' (I can only imagine that she was referring to life with him after we die) - it was beautiful and right from the heart of a child.

***AND THE WINNER MOMENT OF THE DAY***

[Mom] When we get home we're all going to go straight upstairs to our room for naps.

[Katie] Ok. I don't want a quiet time, I want to take a nap today. I'm tired.


[William - at the mere mention of a nap begins to cry uncontrollably] I'm not tired. Daaaaaaddyyyyy... I want my Daaaaaaaddyyyyy... (sniffle, sniffle, eye-rub, eye-rub) I'm not tired. I don't want to take a naaaaaaap.

[Mom - shaking her head and chuckling to herself. Amazingly able to handle the whining and crying] Ok William.

Upon arriving home, William was still crying. I asked him to crawl into his bed - which he did without hesitation and was asleep before I laid Ben down next to him.

It was awesome and predictable from the moment he began crying uncontrollably on our way home.

And I loooooove 'predictable'.

Good Friday

THE SUN STOPS SHINING
from The Jesus Storybook Bible

"So you're a king, are you?" the Roman soldiers jeered. "Then you'll need a crown and a robe."

They gave Jesus a crown made out of thorns. And put a purple robe on him. And pretended to bow down to him. "Your Majesty!" they said.

Then they whipped him. And spat on him. They didn't understand that this was the Prince of Life, the King of heaven and earth, who had come to rescue them.

The soldiers made him a sign - "OUR KING" and nailed it to a wooden cross.

They walked up a hill outside the city. Jesus carried the cross on his back. Jesus had never done anything wrong. But they were going to kill him the way criminals were killed.

They nailed Jesus to the cross.

"Father, forgive them," Jesus gasped. "They don't understand what they're doing."

"You say you've come to rescue us!" people shouted. "But you can't even rescue yourself!"

But they were wrong. Jesus could have rescued himself. A legion of angels would have flown to his side - if he'd called.

"If you were really the Son of God, you could just climb down off that cross!" they said.

And of course they were right. Jesus could have just climbed down. Actually, he could have just said a word and made it all stop. Like when he healed that little girl. And stilled the storm. And fed 5,000 people.

But Jesus stayed.

You see, they didn't understand. It wasn't the nails that kept Jesus there. It was love.

"Papa?" Jesus cried, frantically searching the sky. "Papa? Where are you? Don't leave me!"

And for the first time - and the last - when he spoke, nothing happened. Just a horrible, endless silence. God didn't answer. He turned away from his Boy.

Tears rolled down Jesus' face. The face of the One who would wipe away every tear from every eye.

Even though it was midday, a dreadful darkness covered the face of the world. The sun could not shine. The earth trembled and quaked. The great mountains shook. Rocks split in two. Until it seemed that the whole world would break. That creation itself would tear apart.

The full force of the storm of God's fierce anger at sin was coming down. On his own Son. Instead of his people. It was the only way God could destroy sin, and not destroy his children whose hearts were filled with sin.

Then Jesus shouted out in a loud voice, "It is finished!"

And it was. He had done it. Jesus had rescued the whole world.

"Father!" Jesus cried. "I give you my life." And with a great sigh he let himself die.

Strange clouds and shadows filled the sky. Purple, orange, black. Like a bruise.

Jesus' friends gently carried Jesus. They laid Jesus in a new tomb carved out of rock.

How could Jesus die? What had gone wrong? What did it mean? They didn't know anything anymore. Except they did know their hearts were breaking.

"That's the end of Jesus," the Leaders said.

But, just to be sure, they sent strong soldiers to guard the tomb. They hauled a huge stone in front of the door to the tomb. So that no one could get in.

Or out.

****

Kyle called me this morning moments after he drove away. He had forgotten to mention to me an idea that he had heard on NPR the other day. People were calling in to tell of traditions that they keep on Good Friday. One woman had fond memories of her mother always bringing her siblings in from whatever they were doing between 12:00pm and 3:00pm. They would sit quietly in remembrance of the time that Jesus died on the cross. What a brilliant idea! As Kyle acknowledged, what a neat way for the kids to experience the 'full circle' on Sunday when we celebrate His resurrection!

Today, in the midst of preparing for whatever festivities lie ahead, take some time out to be still - with kids or without kids - and pray, read scripture, worship in song and give glory to the King of Kings as what He did on this day was eternal and we are enjoying the rewards. Life with Him. Sinners forgiven and invited into His presence daily.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Thrill.

For William's birthday, we packed the car with little people and drove to Costco for hotdogs and churros... the kids were SO WELL BEHAVED. I had a wonderful time keeping everyone very organized and somewhat clean. Harper and ketchup are quite a pair... ;)



Following our escapade at Costco, we packed the car again and drove back home. The youngest of the five, Harper and Ben, settled down for naps and the older three had a quiet time in the playroom upstairs. It was wonderful for all involved...

Upon Harper waking up, William got to open his present that had arrived minutes earlier from Grandpa and Grandma Berges... they do a great job of getting the kids the things that they'll remember -- they may not be 'classics', if you will, but none the less, they are the things that are so AWESOME that you remember them well into your later years...

'Mom, do you remember when I got my first lightsaber?'

'Yes, William... it was like 30 years ago. I can't believe you still have it!'

What is "church"?

In the interest of wanting to discover what God has for Kyle and I, I've been really wrestling with scripture VERSUS our adopted idea of what "church" is. I know what the North American church is... but what does God say church is in His Word?

Please give me a 'nod' and include any scripture references you'd like to share with me. I'm hoping this could be an open forum for a bunch of you out there that have deeply impacted my life, to open and up and share your thoughts. The consideration is this, do NOT begin without first seeking the scripture that drew you to your current understanding of "church" and what God has called your family to.

Thank you!!

Feliz Cumpleanos, William!

For his birthday lunch, William wanted a Costco hotdog. In the interest of money, I invited a few of his friends, Ava and Harper Kalous, to come...


I believe my dream of God calling us to Mexico someday just may be more of a reality than I have allowed myself to hope for... the ability for my children to adapt their bodies to any environment first manifests itself in their ability to adapt to any God-forsaken food I allow them to ingest.

Buena suerte kids! (aka, 'good luck kids!')

My reality is shifting...

I'm not sure I'm ready to move on. I'm not even sure I want to be 'done'... although I'm sure that I don't want another. Although, I'm not sure that I'm sure.

Benjamin is big -- not fat and chubby, he's solid. You look at him and think, 'oh cute'... and then you lift him up and think 'holy ____, where's he storing the bricks?' There's nothing light about him. He's taken steps, he'll be walking within the next 10 days, I'd imagine. He's babbling with purpose - things like 'anana!' (banana) and 'oddy!' (Katie)... he shakes his head and has taken to some of his 'signs' such as MORE and ALL DONE. He's not a baby anymore... he's a toddler.

Holding one... wiping one... and disciplining another... its what I'm used to! What will I do when this is no longer the contents of my morning, afternoon and evening?! I've got my dear friend who is most likely cuddling and carrying around her beautiful 5.5 lb., 18" long newborn, Reese (notice I didn't mention 'soothing'... I don't remember those moments). I'm a little jealous. My other friend is 6 months pregnant with her third child as she hosts her 3 year old and 14 month old at home on a daily basis. I'm jealous. And those that are just around the corner about ready to break the news to the world that they are EXPECTING... (no, I have not heard yet, I've just been around the block enough to put money on it). I'm jealous.

No, no, no. Don't get all hot and bothered and begin making notes on what you're going to say to me when you see me next. I don't want to hear it and I won't listen... my heart speaks loudest of all. And like I said. I'm sure... and I'm not sure that I'm sure. There's nothing I can do but cut through the honeymoon of it all and realize the honeymoon of the 'here and now' -- I should be jealous of MYSELF. I mean, I'm sleeping (for the most part)... I'm not nursing (that just reminded me, I need a new training bra)... my kids don't scream without some way of being soothed. Soothed 'quickly', might I add...

But oh! The ANTICIPATION of the birth... the ELATION of the newborn in the hospital (I love that first day)... the EXCITEMENT of bringing him/her home for the first time... the ORGANIZATION of juggling more kids than you've ever juggled before... the daily AFFIRMATION that this one belongs to you and you'd die for it. Yes, so much more is involved but I don't seem to remember all that...

Honestly, the only reason that I'm not jumping back into the saddle is because of photography. I have a dream to truly invest myself into this profession and I'm excited to see where it takes me... slowly but surely, I will mold my desires for another baby into something that I believe God is creating in my heart.

The desire to capture all that surrounds me on a daily basis. There is so much awesomeness in my children, in YOUR children, that I've yet to completely indulge myself in what God has given us.

Oi.

Oh Ben...

Benjamin woke this morning after 13 hours of sleep... it was wonderful! And just what his little body needed after being sick for so long. I have high hopes that his body is recuperating and will be back to 100% before the week is out.

He took a shower with Dad today... I had to grab the camera. Check out my photography blog for more pics of this cute boy.

Oh yeah... and he's been WALKING! I've been dreaming of this day for soooo long.

Daily Tidbits.

1. THE LOGICAL WAY TO MAKE A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH, by Katie Schei

Butter one side of each piece of bread.
Place cheese slices in the middle of those two pieces of bread.
Place sandwich on griddle.
Garnish the top of the sandwich with mini pieces of cheese.
When flipping the sandwich the mini cheese pieces will be just warm and gooey enough that they will not fall off but will instead sear themselves to the underside of your sandwich and get crispy making for the MOST AMAZING GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH EVER.

Mother seconds that motion. I will always make my grilled sandwiches that way from now on. A restaurant could actually brand that sandwich!




2. William (son of a poker player and an aspiring photographer) thought this would be a cool picture so he set it up and asked me to take a picture from this angle.

Mother seconds that motion.

Hannah-Banana

I had the privilege of spending last weekend at home with my little sister, Hannah. It was very special that as I was filling my tank at the Costco gas station on the way out of town, I received a text from Hannah saying simply, 'I need you right now :('. I was so excited to be able to text back, 'On my way out of town now. I'll see you in about 6 hours.' I don't believe at that moment she had any idea that I was coming... it had been a very last minute decision for Katie and I to haul over there early Friday afternoon.

Thank you Kristen for your support in being able to take my boys for the afternoon... you were quite the sight with a slew of 5 boys under the age of 5 and a very pregnant figure! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Hannah was 6 days into recovering from her head on collision. The collision happened on a two lane road - the speed limit is 50mph and Hannah believes she was traveling anywhere from 40-45mph while the other car was likely going 50mph. Hannah remembers the moment she looked up and there was a car directly in front of her, she remembered nothing of the accident for the first day or so following the event. She then began to have flashbacks... the impact, the smell, her own screaming.

When I arrived on Friday, I hugged her so tightly and cried. How do I describe how Hannah fits into my life? Hmmmm... she is indispensable. Nothing and no one could ever be what she is to me. She is refreshing to be around, easy to love and incredible to watch as she just lives her life with the gifts that God has given her. She's my sister. My only sister. We have a bond that, although separated by 14 years of age, allows us to look to each other for support, share clothes, poke fun at, tell secrets to, and talk about our parents with... (sorry Mom and Dad). I adore her... and not only do I love her, I truly like her and look up to her in so many ways.

She is doing well following the accident. I've had many people ask about her and her well-being. Her nose was broken from 'meeting' the airbag, if you will. BUT it broke straight so it did not need to be straightened out by the doctors. Her knee was, for lack of better words, 'filleted open' down to the bone and it took 100 stitches to sew her up - Mom's doing an excellent job of keeping it cleaned and bandaged. The bruising and soreness from the seat belt and air bag is lessening day by day as I'm sure the stiffness is. The only concern was this last Saturday while I was there... Hannah began passing a noticeable amount of blood in her urine along with sharp abdominal pains. This was likely due to the internal bleeding she suffered from having her spleen damaged in the crash. The prescription was rest and more rest with symptoms to look out for... none of which manifested themselves the next day! Praise the Lord!

Thank you for all your prayers and support during this time. I was able to be with her and love on her for a couple of days which was much needed -- Katie and I made it back over the pass as the winter storm was in full swing on Snoqualmie. Fortunately, as I approached the pass, the restrictions were updated from "chains required" to "traction tires advised"... and as I approached the latter summit they were updated again from "traction tires advised" back to "chains required". Just in the nick of time! I had chains with me and had practiced putting them on - but oh was I thankful!

I praise God for Hannah's survival, and as a good friend reminded me early on, 'don't get caught up on the what ifs' and so I'm praying for the clarity of mind to stay in the here and now. It has been an incredible feat that God has taken my family through - one we will forever be grateful for as we watch Hannah grow in her walk with the Lord and into her later years.

I love you, Banana. (photo: top Row, 3rd from the left with white shirt)

Things that I love...

1. A delicious meal made from all the 'stuff' in my pantry...



(Here I made my own marinara sauce with 'extra chunkiness', topped it with an egg, sprinkled Parmesan cheese over the top and baked it for 24 minutes. Serve with a piece of sourdough bread! Thank you, Martha.)

2. The 'perfect spread' of produce on the island in my kitchen awaiting its demise. Assortment of apples, partially green bananas, a couple avocados, a lemon, a lime, garlic and some cherry tomatoes - which I pureed and utilized in tonight's meal since they were wonderfully ripe! The colors are so beautiful especially right after the kitchen's been wiped down... and the fact that I've got any of the above ingredients at my fingertips is always relaxing.


***PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE ON HAND AND WHY! I LOVE KNOWING WHAT MAKES THE MOST SENSE TO HAVE AROUND... I usually have a couple onions, as well.***

Grapes and Gripes

Safeway ran out of Red Seedless Grapes when they were on sale for $.88/lb so I picked up a raincheck a few weeks ago as I was checking out... I bought 6.5 lbs. of Red Seedless Grapes today. And I've decided buying them during a week when they're NOT on sale, is probably the best way to buy them. The selection is beautiful!

I do believe this is the first time I've pulled out an entire 2 lb. clump of grapes from the plastic bag with only a couple stragglers left behind... it was rather picturesque, if you will...


And secondly, my poor husband. He walks in the door tonight and we're all ecstatic to see him! Then he begins to just... well... 'be around' while I'm preparing the house for bedtime. And I started to get angry! He wasn't 'not doing anything' or 'getting the kids over-excited'... he was just 'being'. He asked me to not be so upset with him (bless his heart, he didn't even suspect that there was reason for me to be mad at him, he just simply met me in the middle and it took the edge off). I then understood that I was mad at him because he has interrupted the way that I do things when he's not around at bedtime - which has been a lot lately due to work. But I'm not used to having him here... whether he's helping or not, I was getting mad.

What gives?! I relaxed and now he is reading bedtime stories to the kids in the living room while I blog.

Hm. This IS nice come to think of it.

Snow Snow Go Away... come again sometime in May.

This is ridiculous.

We awoke this morning to a 'dusting' of snow... but it just kept coming. Mid-morning it began sticking and has now accumulated 3-4 inches on our back patio and drive. The kids dug out all their snow gear from the back of the coat closet and escaped into the winter wonderland for, what I desperately hope to be, a last hooray!

Update:

Hannah was not released this morning as her blood count was dropping. It sounds as though it was due to lacerations found in her spleen. They will continue to monitor her for another day and hope to release her tomorrow.

The woman in the other vehicle was listed in critical condition this morning. Prayer is needed all around right now.

The Grace of God

This afternoon I received a call from my older brother, Geoff. Geoff lives in Cleveland, Ohio, and whenever he calls it creates in me an exhilaration that is not unlike what I felt when my Dad came home from work as I was growing up. I answered the phone to an emptiness realizing that I had just missed his call. I called back immediately. He answered with a catch in his throat and it took not more than a few words to realize that something was wrong.

"First off, Hannah's ok." He mentioned this, I'm sure, to keep me from frantic mood swings as I began to absorb the rest of what he was about to tell me. "She was in a head-on collision and is in the hospital. Its not life-threatening..." and he had to pause. He hung for a moment waiting for the ability to speak again. I tried to get him to speak up and release ANY information he had but he simply couldn't give me much. He had spoken with my Dad as he was walking into the Emergency Room to be with my sister who had just arrived in the aid car.

****
Hannah Catherine Berges. Born in 1993 - the daughter and sister of a family so closely knit together. She was knit into our lives in a way that only God could have ordained. Her existence has changed everyone around her and just today we were caught red-handed as we've taken life so casually. We've assumed an attitude of being invincible, or even worse, "cared for" and "entitled to life" as we know it.

Hannah was in a head-on collision today going 50 mph. The impact was severe - totaling both vehicles involved. She is fairing well with no more than a broken nose and a deep cut in her leg. She will be released tomorrow morning to go home and recuperate.

Hannah, I praise God for you and your health. I love you so deeply it hurts to not be with you right now... I'm so glad David was there.

Our God is a God of grace. All glory to Him.

Here we go again...

My dear friend, Jesseca Emerson, is laid up at home on bed rest with her third. Little Baby Girl Emerson is due to arrive 6 weeks from now but it will be shorter for reasons that only the doctors seem to completely understand. We expect to meet this little one somewhere around the 1st of April, if not sooner.

Here is an old blog I wrote about Jesseca and I after the utter shock of taking four children into public following the birth of my second, William, and her second, Regan. Jess, we have our work cut out for us now. Where do you want to go first?!

I love you, friend. I can't wait to meet yet another adorable Emerson girl. And Riley, get your light saber out, you've got a couple princesses to protect.

(photos: Regan Anne (2yrs), 9/08 and Riley David (5yrs), 9/08)

Utensil Happy.

Ben used a utensil for the first time this afternoon. He was smitten with this yellow fork... "there's so many things I can do with this yellow fork", he thought to himself.

Photography Blog

Please keep updated with my photography blog. I'm excited about the opportunities that God keeps giving me as I continue walking with Him in all of this...

My Current To Do List.

I wear flip flops around my house so that I am unaware of all the little crumbs living on my floor. I do believe this morning has been made less than wonderful due to the fact that I cannot find my flip-flops.

Here's my to do list:

- scrub all surfaces in my kitchen and make them SHINY!
- sweep the hardwood floors
- replenish my hand towel and washcloth supply downstairs
- wash all dirty hand towels and washcloths
- tag another bag of consignment clothes
- edit second half of the images for the church
- call April
- fold laundry upstairs
- remove stain from my carpet
- clean up Ben's pee spot upstairs
- wash 'accident' blankets from Will's bed
- organize kids' clothes in totes... get rid of pile in my room
- make dinner club dinner
- grocery game shop
- CONTINUE TO MAINTAIN ILLNESS IN OUR HOUSE - YES ALL THREE KIDS