Public Nudity

We were just recently annexed into Mill Creek City limits. Formerly Unincorporated Snohomish County - you know, where children running around in their birthday suit isn't so uncommon. But the poshness of Mill Creek is becoming more and more apparent to us. For starters, we received a pamphlet this last week touching on issues such as water purity, all-city garage sales, tax dollars 'well spent', etc. A plea was made asking us to wash our cars at the local car wash as opposed to doing it ourselves since the soap water pollutes city water; cops patrol the neighborhoods in the evening hours for safety purposes - I don't know if it makes me feel safe or puts me on edge to be quite honest. Thinking of things such as these caused me particular concern today as my daughter and her friend, Riley, danced around in the front yard completely nude. Riley started in his undies but quickly resorted to being more 'free'.

They ran around screaming and throwing buckets of water on each other. When they got near Jess or I, Jesseca simply reminded them that "Mommies don't like to get wet, remember?" They bought it. Most of the time. We ate chips and guacamole, mowed the lawn, threw all the bath toys into the pool, turned on the hose and watered the plants, ran inside the house dragging dirt and wet grass clippings with us, made juice - and the kids even executed the most hideous of behaviors and peed outside. At least I know Katie did. Right in the guacamole. No joke.

Once the guacamole was gone and the kids started getting cranky (again, mostly Katie) we decided it was time to call it a day. It was naptime for everyone. And there's nothing better than slipping into cool sheets for a summer afternoon nap with the fan blowing on you after a naked romp in the sun and a splash in the pool with your dearest of friends.

I'm sure we'll do it all over again tomorrow.

My heart is 20 months old...

To the left is a picture of my heart.

There have been random moments when I realize that my daughter is my heart. Kyle holds my heart, Katie is my heart. As is my son, William, now. Yet the part of my heart that signifies Katie has been grown, tarnished, shined... it's old. Or so it feels. Were anything to happen to her I would lose incredible memories of the past and awesome dreams and visions of the future. She is becoming her own person and is day by day pushing my 'motherly' influence away. She will do that until she reaches the end of high school, and as most of us know because of personal experience, it is then that she will begin again to draw closer to me as she once was in infancy. Phone calls asking for direction in life, late night conversations about boys and very likely - hopefully few and far between - desiring financial 'assistance'.

The other day as we were leaving Doxa church in West Seattle, I let go of her hand on the sidewalk as we approached our car. We were parked in a diagonal spot beside the church building on a residential street. Katie and Kyle made their way around the opposite side as I set William in on the passenger's side. Over the top of the car I noticed a vehicle driving up the street towards us. It was a 'motherly' moment when you run through the checklist in your head: 1) there's a car approaching from the driver's side 2) Katie is on the driver's side of the car with Kyle 3) the car is not going fast 4) Katie is probably holding Kyle's hand...

But she wasn't. We have begun to teach Katie to 'touch the wheel' of the car as I lift William in and she is NOT allowed to let go until Mom or Dad says so. Kyle was aware of the car and took precautions to keep Katie safe. On this particular day, Kyle's hands were full and as he instructed her to touch the wheel while he opened the door she decided to take off right towards the street. At that same moment, a car flew around the corner from behind me on the passenger's side of the car and within a second of time I could feel the car speeding from behind me, I heard Kyle shouting for Katie to STOP at the top of his lungs, I heard the 'click' of William's carseat in its base, and my heartbeat stopped, my brow was instantaneously sweaty and I couldn't breathe. I knew that my daughter, in her disobedience, was about to pay the ultimate consequence - I knew that my heart was running out into oncoming traffic. I do not know how fast I got around the back of the car and I do not know if the car coming from behind me even noticed a little girl in a pink coat and jeans running happily out from behind a parked car as her mother raced towards her. Seconds of time did not have to pass for me to realize the impact this little girl has on my life.

The drive home was silent. The minute I spoke up and got no more than a breath out, Kyle piped up saying that that was the scariest moment of his life. I didn't have to speak. We both just sat in silence as Katie, in her naivety, asked questions and told us stories from the back seat. She was happy and content. I looked at her amazed and thankful for everything that she is. As a dear friend told me yesturday, that was the first of many moments such as these when you realize that your children ARE your heart.

She and William are asleep as I write this and I cannot wait until tomorrow morning when I will feed William for his final 'night feeding' and hand him off to his dad to sleep the rest of the morning. I will awake with Katie and serve her toast with honey and milk while I indulge in a couple cups of coffee. We will watch Sesame street at 6:30, then Zaboomafoo at 7:00. Sometimes Arthur and Clifford: The Big Red Dog will be in the line-up before Katie gets bored and begins the day's destruction of the house.

I love being a Mom. But boy is it terrifying. I hear the cycle of joy/terror never really ends.

My World

(Left Photo: Katie and William - May 11, 2006; Right Photo: Katie - 6 weeks old, 2004)

My oh my, I've sure set myself up for failure this time. Trying to summarize "my world" in its current state is not unlike trying to catch one of those annoying weighted rubber balls. My brain goes from 'oh, what beautiful and euphoric moments I have to write about' to 'today was hell'. Now, how I can so quickly jump from one extreme to the next boggles me as much as it boggles you. So, maybe that's just it. My world, as I see it currently, is a place of extremes with a whole mess of a lot in between. In summary, that is.

In further detail, Katie and Kyle enjoy a good ride on the skateboard almost daily. You wonder how in the world I could allow my beautiful daughter to ride atop the shoulders of her ever-daring father? Because I'm the same way. I would rather be raised on a farm in the 40's where you ride your bike to the market without fear of being kidnapped, you ride standing UP in the bed of your father's pick-up truck because it's more fun that way, you go swimming at the local fishing hole withOUT adults and your friend, Bubba, talks about his adventures hanging out the door of his father's milk truck on delivery day as they drive 50 miles per hour down Mr. Dafney's pothole ridden private drive. Yes, these are the days of Lassie. Back then, people didn't make fun of Timmy and his talking dog, they just enjoyed it. So now, I simply enjoy watching Katie laugh and scream as Kyle scoops her up and goes gliding down 133rd Place SE.

William is 6 weeks old and beginning the 'social smile'. With Katie, Kyle and I were adamant about NOT having her in our bed for the sake of our spontaneous marriage and what it entails to keep it 'spontaneous'. She rarely was allowed to sleep in the 'master' bed - I could count on one hand the evenings that I've allowed this rather outlandish behavior. Then there was Will. Oh, don't get me wrong. My thoughts and opinions on the matter haven't changed. And if you ask me at 7:00AM, 12:00PM, 3:00PM, 6:00PM, 10:00PM, sometimes even at 2:00AM, I would, with intensity, agree that the 'family bed' is not the most beneficial way to sleep a child. But when 4:30AM rolls around, you can bet that kid is in my bed. My last drained breast is hanging out of its intended enclosure while William and I sleep soundly - our bodies desperately needing the last few hours of sleep before the morning arrives and the 'dragon stirs'. AKA, Katie.

Every other Thursday Kyle plays poker with a group of close friends and every Thursday I have been attempting consistency and am engaged in a bible study with a group of phenomenal women from all over the Seattle area. So, the 'every other' Thursday is usually a night that the kids get to spend with Kyle's mom - Grandma Schei. :) It has been important for me to keep my identity as there are many hours during every day that I fight the battle of "Katie and Will's Mom" formerly known as "Krista Schei". My moments go from nursing to feeding snacks to nursing to changing a diaper to helping Katie go on the 'big girl potty' to nursing to changing a diaper to pulling maybe two weeds in the front yard to replugging the pacifier to... oh, I almost forgot!... nursing. Who am I again? And not to mention Kyle has some serious pent up energy that I need to be more in tune with.

This group of women has been a great release for me.

Anyone want to babysit so that I can be a WIFE again, too?! Kyle and I are excited to have his mom so close for that very reason. We've had some time to just be alone as she's been so great about watching the chillins'. Otherwise, we resort to staring longingly across the table during a family dinner out, giving high-fives when both kids are asleep before resorting to cuddling in each others' arms and falling asleep too, or simply conversing in the front seats of the car while both kids entertain themselves behind us.

I will wrap this up for the very reason that I need to feed my son and go sit on the couch with my husband before kicking this cold/flu in the butt by getting some much needed shut-eye. Yes, when you get sick you no longer have the opportunity to think about it. That's why I haven't mentioned it yet... Mom's don't get sick. They can't. I used to roll my eyes too when I heard these cliches of parenthood. Believe me, I'm trying my darndest to rebel against them but they have proven themselves true over and over again in the last 6 weeks.

My world is... a little bit of everything.