Oh-so-not-awesome anymore...

On Wednesday nights we have a recurring group of couples and kids that meet together and enjoy some wonderful food, easy conversation and intentional prayer - this is known as a Small Group. Our Small Group meets at the oh-so-lovely casa de Kalous where you walk in and immediately feel welcome... you WANT to take your shoes off, mingle around the kitchen island, munch on something wonderful that Rachel (Martha) has cooked up oh-so-easily (aka "thrown together") and enjoy the luxurious feeling of the vaulted ceilings, granite counter tops and beautifully chosen colors across the great room walls that compliment each other oh-so-well... by the way, Rachel is a Graphics Design Artist. Her house is her empty canvas... (puke, I can't believe I just said that.)

This evening as I plopped down on the floor to change my 7 week old son's diaper I realized I should probably do an outfit change as well due to the ungodly amount of spit up and stains that adorned his current outfit. I clumsily gathered my limbs underneath me and cautiously stood up -- don't know what it is but I still find myself physically acting as though I'm 9 months pregnant, hence the "gathering my limbs underneath me..." part. I walked the 10 steps over to my 10 lb. "purse" and begin digging through it when I lifted my head to a quite disturbing smell. I discretely walked around after retrieving my son's outfit from the abyss and sniffed doorways... areas of the room... trying to track down the source of the scent. It still "lingered" and I couldn't figure it out. I finally rested on the conclusion that it couldn't be anything other than "wetness-turning-to-mildew" wafting from the laundry room just beyond where my purse was sitting. A little disturbed, I traipsed back to Benjamin lying on the floor and sat down in front of him. As I shifted him, so as to change him with the most ease, I mentioned something about "the smell" to Kristen - another woman in our group. As she walked over she smelled the same smell coming from the same part of the house.

Now was the moment, when I knew something was amiss amongst the beauty and I should really tell Rachel... but I wouldn't want her to think that I thought she'd be so careless as to leave a load of laundry in the dryer if it wasn't true! And I'd really rather her find out on her own - thinking that nobody else knew (because that's how I would feel) - if it WAS true! It was the mildew-y smell I was smelling... I was fairly certain. (By the way Rachel would kill me if I mentioned to her that her house breathed perfection to me because we've known each other long enough that our "secrets" have been shared for the most part and I should know better... but she really does have incredible taste and a phenomenal sense of organization and put-togethered-ness.) As I opened my mouth and mentioned it to her I smelled the smell again. She was surprisingly excited that I mentioned "the smell" as she quickly walked over to her couch and pulled from it one of the throw pillows. "I've been telling Jeremy that something smells 'off' here... " and she hands me the pillow to smell. "Its not these throw pillows as much, I don't think, as the couch itself. I think it smells weird! Tell me if its the couch!" I was relieved to find that it might not be the mildew in the laundry room but perhaps the couch -- completely out of her control!

Its NOT the couch... and I cautiously mention that it almost smells like that "wet too long" smell and she simply says "like mildew" and I say, as though its all coming together right at that moment for me, "yeah... like mildew..." She squints while she's thinking and mentions that she doesn't have anything in the washing machine... and then it hits me.

SMELL YOUR SON'S CLOTHES.

I did. And they wreaked of mildew.

The scent must have exploded out of my bag due to being under pressure for so long and lingered long enough that Kristen smelled it too when she walked close to my bag. The clothes aired out somewhat by the time I got back to Benjamin on the floor and then it was all mysterious.

In a single moment a secret of mine was revealed: I hate that I so often forget about the load of laundry in the washer and have to re-wash it... it is embarrassing and I would NEVER want anyone to think that it was a recurring problem of mine! So much so that I couldn't bring it up to Rachel even though she could probably care less if somebody "caught her in the act".

I was feeling oh-so-not-awesome anymore... but just to prove my confidence and lack of insecurity in myself and my ability to make a home I threw that filthy pair of pajamas to everyone in the room so they could smell and we could all have a good laugh...

Oh-so-not-awesome anymore...