Adverse effects

I can try with all my might to look as though I don't have extra skin hanging around my mid-section. I CAN fit into my old jeans but that's not to say I would ever in my life again wear my old jeans and a bikini top - which at one time in my life I know I thought was a sexy outfit. Nope. In fact, if you were to see me in my jeans without a top on your eyes would be drawn to the raisin-esque skin that now has taken up residence in the most precarious spots. No matter how much effort I put into fitting that loose skin neatly into the top of my jeans so as to look flat, I can't seem to make it magically disappear.

This is not unlike the physics law that says something to the tune of not being able to create mass out of nothing nor is one able to make mass become "non-existent" - whatever that law is. Same as when you try to eat an overstuffed sandwich neatly or try to bite into the Skinny Cow without spilling ice cream out the backside. A Smore is another GREAT example. When trying our darndest to control something that is uncontrollable in nature our efforts are in vain.

Which brings me to my point.

July 1st was a day of great distress as I realized I couldn't hold my phone anymore while driving. I know, I know. Some of you are saying its a "secondary offense"! But what CAN'T an officer pull you over for in order to say, "oh, and by the way Mam, you had your cell phone up to your ear and that's illegal too"... So, just yesterday my husband taught me how to use my first ever blue tooth headset.

Oh man. Like I said, our efforts are in vain when we try to control the uncontrollable. Doesn't anyone out there helping to create these laws know that if a Mom has her hand occupied by holding a phone up to her ear at least she's limited in what she can do while talking on the phone. The stuff that I pulled off yesterday WHILE talking to my brother on the phone would have boiled any safety expert's blood. They would have been baffled in fact. What they tried to control was my the attention that I divert from the road when I'm holding my phone up to my ear. What they didn't realize is that I can now drive with my left hand, hold a pacifier in my son's mouth, look in the rear view mirror at the comical faces of my 2 and 3 year old in the backseat WHILST talking on the phone. All the while feeling a bit out of sorts because it takes extra effort for me to figure out how to HANG UP... CALL... etc.

The skin cascades over the top of my snug-fitting Lucky jeans every time I sit down, the mustard and mayo combo squeezes out the backside of my sandwich despite careful manipulation, the ice cream inevitably drips on my recently mopped floor and my ability to multi-task while driving has grown exponentially.

Thank you to those who are always trying to save me from my own self. Better said, my own stupidity.

Good luck to you.