Ringing in the New Year...

...with wailing and ear piercing screams - shrieky enough to make your hair stand on end, solidify, and fall out.

Our lovely, angelic daughter, Katie, has found herself a good rhythm as of late. She's gloriously pleasant and almost eerily nice to her brothers and myself until the moment we walk out of her room at night. She pulls out the "I'm scared" card and blows the evening o' solitude to hell. It goes a little something like this:

1. "Goodnight guys!"
2. Katie whimpers sheepishly, "I'm scared..."
3. We calmly smile and say "goodnight bug, there's nothing to be afraid of..."
4. We leave and she lets out the most horrific scream - waking up the neighborhood.
5. We take her down off of her bunkbed and she is walked into another room.
6. She gets disciplined for screaming and keeping her brothers awake - she owns it and apologizes.
7. We forgive her and reiterate why we have to discipline her - because we love her.
8. We place her back in her bed.
9. The ENTIRE process is repeated.

William goes to sleep in Mom and Dad's bed for the first while because the poor kid can't sleep through the battle. I don't blame him.

Oh! We have a bedtime routine. Oh! We have the bathroom light on across the hall. Oh! We have sympathy for the fear that little kids go through when they're young. We've walked through the prayer time and the trusting God... trusting Mom and Dad... she even wakes up in the mornings singing God's praises because she didn't have the scary dream she was afraid she'd have! This is not me, in any way, minimizing the fear that she may be going through. This is simply me reiterating to her that in the midst of her fear she can't become unruly and disobedient but instead she needs to trust Mom and Dad when they show her an effective way of dealing with her fear. Talking... praying... trusting... being FREAKING rational...

My mother-in-law had a wonderful idea of playing music before bedtime for the kids as they drift off into slumber... I took her up on it thinking that was a novel idea! I chose a classical CD... maybe Katie would begin thinking about princesses dancing across a ballroom while William envisioned knights dancing with swords as they, in slow motion, battled to the death...

But no. Of course not. The music "scared" her. And don't empathize with her while you sit there envisioning intense murder scenes with classical music playing in the background - she hasn't seen such things... and if you're thinking, 'oh, on the contrary' than know that your intense reaction to her BSing is about the same as mine! Its ridiculous.

We put her to bed at 8pm tonight and she is still screaming upstairs. Some of you may think... 'its not working! Try another approach!' But I can guarantee you one thing, the consistently being inconsistent approach is what kills you in the end. I will take a week of horrible nights if it means I am teaching my children the art of self-control and proper behavior. She knows what is expected of her and she knows the repercussions if she doesn't meet those expectations... this approach has brought Katie and William to a place where they are actually making the comments, "Mom, I've changed my heart and it feels good" or "Mom, I'm so sorry for disappointing you today. I've changed my heart and I can tell that I'm learning to be nicer" or "Mom, will you teach me how to pray so I can change my heart easier" ... all the experience thus far has given Kyle and I the strength and endurance to keep our "way of doing things" consistent even when the short-term looks so daunting and insurmountable.

HAPPY FREAKIN' NEW YEAR! Pray for me...

My little napper...

Some children at this age are ready to go without a nap during the afternoon. I've tested the waters a few times... William's not ready. This is him at 4pm this afternoon - an hour after he wrapped up his 1.5 hour quiet time with Katie in their room.

Battles of the War

The pursuit of having Godly children is not easily won. I don't expect it to be. Its a culmination of battle after battle after battle - not all of which are won in favor of the parent. The battles are exhausting and often leave me feeling barely able to walk or keep my eyes open for that matter. Many have offered their opinions as to better ways of fighting the battles... their intentions are often pure but with less than clear vision as to the War at hand. The War I'm fighting is for my children to know and understand the character of God NOT to go to bed without kicking and screaming - that's simply a battle. The War I'm fighting is often threaded through the day to day battles - the child has their human nature fighting at all cost while I'm trying to cultivate in those moments the Godly way of doing things.

THE BATTLES
Don't worry about what's "fair"; don't be concerned with yourself and what is owed to you - think of others before thinking of yourself; do not argue with those in authority over you; speak with confidence and do not be timid; exercise self-control when speaking with confidence and do not speak out of turn but instead in humility; humility is different than being timid!; love your enemy and pray for them; fear is not of the Lord; exercise faith in God even though you cannot see Him because He is real; cherish opportunities to exercise faith in God; be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to become angry; ...

THE WAR

HOPE because they know who God says He is.
Isaiah 26:8 - 'yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts'

FREEDOM because they know what God says He did.
Romans 8:1-4 - ' Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.'

COMPASSION FOR OTHERS because they know for the unbeliever eternal separation from God will be their end and God desires for all to be saved.
1 Timothy 2:3-4 - 'This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth'
Jude - '...they are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord'... 'but you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy'

For those of you with children who are reading this, my prayer for you would be that you remember in the moments of the battle at hand that its not the short-term solution you're worried about but instead the long-term solution of faith in Jesus Christ. The battles are exhausting, as I mentioned before, but they all need to exist for the War to be won in their little hearts. Satan is not getting exhausted, he's becoming more and more persistent with each battle's victory.

Keep your eyes on the prize! In 1 Corinthians it says, 'Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.' Parent in such a way that you can cultivate this in your children - and in yourself! The hard is not bad!

Decide how you want to parent -- what is God calling YOU to as a Mom or a Dad? Do that no matter how hard it gets and let not yourself be persuaded by the perversity of ease and short-term goals. God is eternal and His strength is never ending...

God be with you.

photography

Moments arise when the exhaustion of having three kids, cooking, cleaning and being border-line OCD leaves me with little energy to invest in photography and the understanding of it.

But I can't squelch the rush that comes when I capture something intriguing...

This was simply a shot I took while experimenting with the shutter speed on my camera during a "down time" tonight with Kyle and his brother, Erik. The fun thing is that I've got all the metadata so that I can further study why the shot captured what it captured... one look at something like this and I can't help but love photography.

Berges Family Christmas 2008

There's nothing like being around your own family -- whether good or bad it definitely adds its own unique dimension to all of our lives. In my world, being around my family is a privilege that comes around only twice a year. That is our Berges Family Reunion to the Oregon Coast every summer and our Berges Family Christmas during a weekend in either December or January. David and Les drive over from Yakima (this year with new baby Emma Nicole!), Geoff and Jennifer fly in from Cleveland, OH and we all rendezvous at my parents' home in Kennewick, WA. My younger, but much better, sister still lives with my parents. No, not like "back living with my parents" but instead quite legitimately living with my parents. She's only 15... did I say "only"?! I meant, oh crap! She's 15 and soon to be getting her license! Aaah... the sweet sound of Aunt Hannah comes to nanny for a weekend next summer is drowning the sound of screeching tires and smashed mailboxes... yes, I hear now only children laughing in the distance while I slowly sink into the abyss of a fantastic massage...

Oh, my family. That's right.

We start the week off with nothing but relaxation... everyone but Jen is usually still lounging in sweats and sweatshirts until Mom tells us we're doing something important that demands we look like we took a shower within the last 24 hours. Jen's usually the catalyst for me though -- undoubtedly, she looks adorable (if not hot) in her fantastic jeans, thoughtful layering of tops, flawless make-up, great hair and some adornment of necklaces or earrings. Its at that moment my fuzzy teeth and stretched out yoga pants feel a little more trashy and less relaxed. To her credit, she usually stays in her "lounge wear" until mid-morning... Lesley and I have made an art of lounging all day, I'm afraid. And Hannah's not in the running. She leaves cute in whatever she's wearing at o' dark thirty in the morning when Mom takes her to school. She usually arrives back home sticky and sweaty from practice right about the time I've made room in my appetite for dinner... nope, doesn't ruin my appetite. It actually reminds me of all the nights I did exactly the same thing.

Well, I would continue my ranting about the ins and outs of my family but I'm being summoned by my husband to enjoy some quality time with him... which I'm happy to do. I think I'll pick this up in a day or so and share with you some of the finer points of the Berges home at Christmas time... such as:

Annual Balderdash game with the Luehrs
My Mom's around-the-house plaid shirt (this follows the death of her denim button up shirt)
My Mom's many WONDERFUL - and always much anticipated - list of hors de ouvres
Red wine and Doritos late into the evening
Risk - the board game
Geoff's Buffalo wings... best EVER
... and much much more.

Until then. Mom, Dad, Geoff, Jen, Dave, Les, Emma, Hannah, Kyle, Katie, Will and Ben... I LOVE being with all of you together. You make for wonderful memories. Thank you and I love you.

Merry Christmas!! Its only 7 days away!! I LOVE this time of year.

Introduction to the Christmas Season

Its been weeks since I've mentioned Chad Lusk - a dear friend of my Dad's who has been wrestling with brain cancer and has been a testimony to many as God's continued to heal and begin to restore health as only He can.

I thought it appropriate to share this video with you. Not only is it sung by Chad's son, Matt Lusk, who I'm sure gives glory to God daily with regards to his earthly father's health... but it also serves as a reminder to us of the Son of God and the wonder that He brought the moment He was born and throughout His life. Enjoy.