Its been a long time since I've felt the overwhelming sadness of emptiness... but I felt it the other day when Jenny drove out of the driveway. I smiled as best I could as the kids and I offered her our renown "Schei goodbye" from the front porch.As I write this I'm looking at her picture and wishing that she would just walk in the room. Damn you Jenny, I'm choked up again...
Her son, Leo, is beautiful. I held him and wished that I was his blood relative simply for the connection that cannot be lost with blood relatives. He feels that close to my heart and I feel like I've awaited his arrival for so long. But he doesn't need another family member as he's got so many who will love and adore him... JoJo, Judy, Dick and Joe... all wonderful people that I too have grown to love and appreciate. I'm lucky to be amongst the intimate circle of friends that consider themselves family... have you ever, for a moment, stepped out of your shoes and thought to yourself what it must be like to have another family as your family? Not because of a discontentedness with the one you have but because of the adoration you have of another? I have... and I've found myself caring for and appreciating the Johnson/Haferbecker "clan" as I would my own family.
Anywho, on with the "Jenny" thing. So, here she is. And as Dusty knows best, she's beautiful... witty... smart... and incredibly wise in the way she lives her life. She cares about the global perspective of things and if I know Jenny, Leo will have a handle on how the world operates before he becomes sucked into the temptations of most children today in the U.S.. He will be setting up war with his G.I. Joe in hopes of ridding the world of AIDS and Child Prostitution. He will be found, at the age of 6, creating a country out of Legos with a female president. (Not to mention the embarrassment I felt when Jenny asked my daughter if she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up and Katie said, "No! I can't be a doctor!" with a laugh. And Jenny asked, "Why?!" Katie's response was, "Because I'm a girl!")
Jenny, I cried like a baby when you left. Katie consoled me! She asked if I missed my friend and I got to discuss with her what it feels like to have such wonderful companionship in life. We talked for awhile and she came to believe in the wonders of life-long friendships...
Thank you, friend. I love you and because you are who you are... I will tell you that I have to go because my son just woke up from his nap.
Coffee this afternoon?! See you then...
4 comments:
I'm Jenny and Jo's cousin, and Jo turned me on to your blog. I have to tell you, you are so honest, funny, and a truly caring person. What you wrote about Jenny makes me want to cry. I only saw her twice while she was here and that wasn’t enough. Being part of the Johnson family a blessing and one I thank God for every day. Keep up the writing, I enjoy reading your blog so much.
Thank you Krista! I love you too!!!
Oh Krista, how fun it was to read your blog today and see that I got a personal mention! Not to take the limelight away from Jenny as she so deserves it. :) Everything you say about Jenny is so spot on, and just shows what a great friend you are. You really take the time to express your love for your friends, that's so great. And you know you ARE a part of the Johnson/Haferbecker clan!
Tell your husband that Macs do rule the earth-we just got one. And secondly the family I wanted to be in was yours... so I know exactly what you are talking about.
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