Just yesterday evening Kyle informed me that a couple we've known for the last 10 or so years was getting divorced. We watched them as they built their relationship after meeting, we were part of the bridal party at their wedding and have continued a relationship with them since - trying to bridge the miles between us by visiting them each summer on our way to the Oregon Coast.What's interesting is that God has been doing a work on me for the last few months and it all began to make sense during the funeral service last weekend in La Grand, Oregon. I want you to love your husband better. Not necessarily more because love isn't measurable in that way. He wanted me to begin at that moment loving my husband better. Chad and Kathy had a love affair and it was what made an impression on those around them from the time they met at 14 years of age. Now that's not to say that there weren't times Chad may have been locked out of the house -- that's nothing more than assumption -- or times Kathy may have wanted to bail! But the intensity of the love that God built between the two of them was inseparable by man and in Chad's passing Kathy was impacted in a way only God could empathize with.
I have no doubt the love Kyle has for me -- he does an exceptional job of showing me and I don't always receive it. He showers me with praise and encouragement; he's slow to anger and extremely patient; he keeps his heart contrite and is quick to correct it when its wrong; he communicates openly with me and when he's not [communicating openly] its a result of him being completely oblivious; he gets up early with the kids and lets me sleep; he calls me from work to say he loves me; he always calls on his way home to see if I need anything from the store... he adores me. He doesn't love me more than I love him... just better.
In my heartache of hearing of our friends' divorce I began contemplating how weird and unfamiliar that must feel... I can't even leave for a few days without dealing with the side effects of feeling unfamiliar and out of my comfort zone -- Kyle is the one I want to be around day in and day out... how does that change so drastically in one's marriage? I was speaking with my Mom today on the phone and discussing the oddity of the such things that God had such different intentions for and I told her:
I know in my heart of hearts that I will never be opposite Kyle in the courtroom...
I know in my heart of hearts that we will be tempted day in and day out...
And I know in my heart of hearts that prayer will be the only safety from an Enemy that seeks to destroy us...
Kyle and I have begun taking time to pray together just before he walks out the door in the morning. We are building a shelter around our marriage and seeking the Lord to bring us joy unimaginable in each other.
4 comments:
I read a book a few months ago called "A Severe Mercy" by Sheldon Vabauken (he was a friend of CS Lewis) it is about his wife and their life together. It is so good, and reading about their deep love for each other helped me love Geoff better I think.
I appreciated this post as it is a good reminder to constantly be striving towards something better, not to get complacent and not to take for granted that our husbands know we love them. I thought this was a cute idea (and a little cheesy), mainly because I like the idea of wives getting together to share the good things about their significant others instead of just complaining about them. http://blissfullydomestic.com/family-bliss/valentines-day-sweet-swap/
our church is doing a study and we are using the movie Fireproof as the guide. To go along with that we are reading the book, Love Dare. It has been a fun way to get to the basics again. It gives a daily challange for 40 days but really practical things. You may enjoy it.
I was just made aware of my lack of prayer life for my husband and the good I could do if I was committed to that practice. I hope this means God is doing a work in marriages these days. I am glad to see I am not the only one.
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